Changin'

   I sat on the mission porch steps in a heap, doing my
  best to calm down from all of the sobs wrenching from
  my chest. Everything was all wrong; nothing like how it
  ought to be.  And there was no one to help me through,
  for they were all going through some sort of problem.
  Miss Alice had gone into her cabin two days ago, and
  couldn't bring herself to come out. I was glad that I
  had refilled her pantry the day before her lock down.
 Neil was totally out of reach - he was emotionally
 distraunt with Margaret there.  David was angry at me for
 a€˜foolishly' refusing his proposal, as he put it. But
 he was, at least for the last couple of days, trying to
 keep his temper down and act civilized. That was good -
 considering that I had just broke his heart 5 days ago.
 I couldn't even go with Fairlight on our walks anymore
 - she was still upset about Jeb going to the tea house
 - but that was just like the rest of the cove. David
 had gotten them to forgive eachother at church, but
 after that, it all fell apart, and many a marriage is in
 danger of being nothing more than history.  Suddenly, I
 realized that moping here on the steps was wrong - what
 good was it going to do anybody? I couldn't just give
 up who I was because other people come in to ruin some
 of my plans. I just had to make new ones. Maybe I could
 be the key in getting this cove back together and how it
 used to be.  I started with Miss Alice.  Knocking on her
 door timidly, I wondered what I was going to say. Or if
 I should bother her at all? Too late, the door opened and
 a red eyed Miss Alice was before me.  "May I come in?" I
 asked. She nodded, made room for me to pass, then shut
 the door and returned to her rocking chair by the fire.
 I knelt down beside her chair.  "Miss Alice, I know you
 are going through a lot right now, but nothing is to come
 out of sitting in here. You can't keep yourself in here
 forever. Go to Margaret and make it up."
  Miss Alice lifted her head sadly, her eyes pools of
 tears. She shook her head sadly.  "You don't understand,
 Christy. She doesn't want any part of me, and I just told
 her that I don't want any part of her."
"That's where your wrong, Miss Alice. Margaret wants your
forgiveness and your love. She wants Neil's too. She just
wont lower her pride and admit she's wrong. She told
me so."  "She told thee that?"  "Not in so many words,
but yes. When I went to the El Pano tea house the other
day. That's the reason why she's here, I told her to come
back, and a miracle occurred that made her actually listen
to me."
 "Thee told her to come back?"  "Yes. I told her that it
would break not only your heart if she was to leave, but
hers too. By the look on her face, I think she realized
that I was right. I also told her that..." I stopped, not
wanting to go on.
 "Told her what?"  "Nothing."  "Christy?"  "I told her
that Neil was worth fighting for."
 She looked at me sympathetically.  "Did thee say that
 for more than one reason?"
"No Miss Alice! I said it to make her realize that running
away from Neil is wrong. Nothing else."  Miss Alice turned
her head, and looked out the window.
 " I can not go to her. If she wants to have a relationship
with me, then I got to stop running to her and begging
for it. She wants it - she must come and ask for it."
"You're just going to stay her until she does that?"
"I just might."
 I knew that there was no changing Miss Alice's mind. I
 walked out of that cabin, feeling like I have failed
 her. I hated that feeling, but I refused to let it keep
 me down. I went to David to try and cheer him up, but it
 did little to help. All it did was get him angry at me
 and made him feel like he didnt want me anymore. Was that
 good? Well, it was better for me!  Neil was unsuccessful
 as well. He was the one who discouraged me the most,
 though I spent the least time with.  Five minutes with
 him and then I was out of there, having to face the
 fact that he wasn't going to change.  Now what about the
 doomed cove? They were bad off. Sure, wives forgave their
 husbands forgave their wives in church. But after they
 stepped foot out of church and into their own cabins,
 things went way down hill. Even poor Fairlight was having
 marriage woes.  I needed to try and fix this in a way that
 David hadn't tried.  I just had to figure out how to fix
 not only that, but the negative light that has been cast
 upon the mission by the cove. Somehow, this was mostly
 our faults, not the men's for going to the tea house.
 Since it was already Thursday, I decided to wait until
 church services that were coming up Sunday. That decision
 might have been a mistake, because with each waking hour,
 the cove and their attitudes towards everything got worse
 and farther out of reach.  *********** Sunday finally
 came. David, once again, preached on forgiveness,
 but this time, it was not directed to anyone in
 particular. The tradition of women on one side and men
 on the other continued, despite the urging of David. It
 was despicable - all during the service there was angry
 snickering and I heard a lot of different names for David
 that was completely the opposite of flattering. I was
 humiliated to sit next to these people that said such
 things. Not everything was about David though. I heard
 discussion going on about what this husband of theirs
 did this wrong, and how other families are even worse
 off - some how leading back to this mission. A civil
 war had broken out, and I could not be silenced any
 longer. I had to give it a try. David dismissed everyone,
 but I rushed to the pulpit and asked everyone to stay
 seated. They listened. I cleared my throat, which went
 dry when I saw Miss Alice's eyes prying into me, trying
 to figure out what I was to say before I could say it.
 " Ladies and Gentlemen, please, stay in church for just
 a minute longer. I have been seeing a lot of negativity
 going around here. Somehow, you blame us, the mission
 workers, on your problems. I want to point out that you
 have got it wrong. It's so hard to talk to you, you seem
 so far away. You have always told me that I could never
 understand you because you just went through so many
 things that I have never gone through.  But I think that
 is wrong. If you'd give us a chance, we can prove to you
 that we do understand. Look, you can't go on like this
 any more. Don't you understand with these situatations
 is what love is for? We can be here for you if you can
 trust us. Love is here in the mission, in this church
 building, all around your children when they come to
 school each day. You can feel the change if you will
 let it. Change is not always bad - sometimes it can be
 for the good. This is one of those times. Let all this
 go, and just open up your heart to us.  We are not the
 enemy, though you may claim that all you want. We're here
 to set you free from all of your pain, to lighten your
 hardships, to help you. We want to be like your fire
 in the night. We are not the enemy, but we are an army
 of love."  Then, I stepped off the pulpit and left. If
 I had known all the criticism that was to come my way
 because of this, I would have went a little faster and
 would have thought twice in going back the next day.
 ******************************************************
 The children came to school, but they were unresponsive
 in everything. They refused to pay attention, and cared
 little about my warnings.  " Now I want everyone to settle
 down now or I'm going to be notifying your parents." I
 said sternly. But this didn't even make Creed Allen,
 kneeling on the top of his desk with Scalawag on his
 shoulder, even flinch. Nor did Lundy stop poking poor
 Mountie. John Spencer yelled at Will Beck while Zady
 screamed in a verbal, and some physical, fight with
 Lizette, Bessie, and Ruby Mae.  No one would listen to me.
 Finally, Little Burl looked at me.  "Our parents don't
 care none if we never go back to school no more." He said,
 his blue eyes wide with what I once thought was innocence.
 " What do you mean?" I answered. This made everyone stop
 and get in their seats - this was interesting enough for
 them to listen to and participate in.  "Mean that our
 folks said that you ain't gonna change nothing in this
 cove, no matter what you try to do." Creed jumped in.
"I heard pa say that love is only pointless in matters
 that we'uns deal with, but you wouldn't know nothin bout
 that." Lizette said.  " Pa says what you spoke about
 means nothin, just a bunch of fancy words that you think
 will change things when they wont. Said they don't mean
 a thing." I was shocked to hear this from Zady. Does even
 Fairlight and Jeb think like that now?  "They really think
 like that?" I wondered out loud. My heart sank when a sea
 of heads nodded.  ************** I went to talk with the
 McHone's. Indeed, every word that the children spoke was
 completely true.  " But how can you think like that?" I
 asked Opal.  "Don't take it personally, it's just a€˜cause
 of where you're from. We all know that you be from the
 level lands, and no matter how hard you disguise it, you
 a€˜uns are all the same. You'll leave here one day, and
 then you'll completely change back into them, and you'll
 loose all interest in us. You'll go back to thinkin' that
 we're worth nothin', that's what the level landers think,
 and what you will think soon enough."
"But I'm not like that!"  "They all say that, Miz
Christy. You'll go and get married, then you'll never
want to see this place again. Once you leave, you never
come back.  It's what makes us wonder if this world is
flat after all."  Unfortunately, I had picked the wrong
place to have this conversation. I was at a singing at the
Allen's. What started out as a private conversation turned
into something so much more - everyone there was listening
to Opal declare my fate. I felt defenseless as everyone
agreed with her. I couldn't possibly fight all of them.
I retreated in shame.
 **************** Of course, Doctor Ferrand kept his great
 sense of timing. The day after the singing and one of the
 worst experiences of my life, he arrived. He told us all
 to eat in a hurry - he had an announcement for all of us.
 Doctor Ferrand was the first one to finish. He went to
 the parlor to wait. Miss Alice followed him in, but David,
 Ruby Mae, and I stayed behind, eating slowly to enjoy our
 meal. After all, his announcement probably wasn't that
 important. We should have hurried. What we were about to
 hear was something that would alter all of ours lives.
 When we went into the parlor together, we seen Miss Alice
 on a rocking chair, diagonal to Doctor Ferrand's. David
 and I sat close together on the davenport in front of the
 Doctor as Ruby Mae stuck her head right between ours, her
 chin resting in her hands as her elbows sank downwards
 into the davenport.  Doctor Ferrand began.  "I know that
 you all worked hard in making a difference here. Whether
 we succeeded or not at this point does not matter. I am
 getting up there in age, and am to retire. Because of
 this, I will be shutting down all of my missions. Cutter
 Gap is the one mission that costs me the most. For that
 reason, Cutter Gap will remain permently closed down. You
 are all dismissed from your duties. I expect everyone
 to be out of here by Friday."  David's hand was so tight
 around mine, that I could feel it getting throbbing from
 lack of circulation flowing through it. But I ignored
 this. I was in complete shock. I felt wetness on my
 shoulder. I turned to see Ruby Mae starting to cry. I
 wrapped my arm around her, freeing it from David's
 strong grasp.  "How could you do this to us?" I asked
 slowly, trying to control the anger that welled in me.
 " I am forced upon it. I am not doing this for torture,
 Miss Huddleston."
"No? Look what you just did to her. She has tears
 streaming down because this is her home - we are her
 family. Now you tell us that she is to be stripped away
 of that?" I got up, and with my arm still around the
 young teenagers shoulders, made my way up there stairs
 with her face in my shoulder.  " I promise that I'll
 figure out somewhere for you to live. Your cabin isn't
 great, but we can fix it up to make it homey before we
 leave." I offered, sitting us both down on my bed, the
 door shut and locked.  "That's not the  problem, Miz
 Christy. I didn't announce it yet, but Rob Allen and I
 are engaged. Our wedding had been planned for Friday."
 I looked at the 15 year old in shock.  "Your engaged?"
 She nodded. I gave her a weak smile. Usually, I would have
 gotten upset, but maybe this was for the best. Only God
 knew now.  **************************************** We
 spent the next few days packing everything up. I was in
 the schoolhouse, loading all of the books into crates,
 when I got the idea. I ran to David, and he agreed to
 help me. It took most of that day to finish, but when it
 was done, we seen that it was well worth it. We had lined
 all the walls of the schoolhouse with shelves. Then, we
 nailed a sign above the doors that read "C.G. Library".
*************************************************************
 I met with many of the mountain folk on my way to and
 fro places. They never missed an opportunity to remind me
 that I had failed. They told me that I had done nothing
 more than helped out a few children, and I couldn't even
 finish that. Mountie was the only one that they gave me
 credit for.
"What good have you done, saving just this one child? You
spent almost two years here for just her. You have
done nothing. You try and change everyone - you will
never change this world! " They'd insult. I would always
respond with "I have accomplished something great. Just one
person can make all the difference. And I am not trying
to change this world. I do many things to prove to this
world that it shall never change me. Never."  And then
they'd laugh in my face and walk away like I had gone mad.
**********************************************************
 I woke early on Friday. Ruby Mae was not at the
 mission, the Spencer's were taking care of her for the
 big day. Miss Alice and I made pies for hours instead
 of breakfast. At least this situation had some good
 in it - it brought Miss Alice out of her cabin. This
 situation did  bring her out of her cabin, but she'd
 never go back in it again.  Our trunks and satchels were
 packed and most were already in El Pano, a few on trains
 already, traveling home.  I wasn't into getting dressed
 up fancy. The mood was off. But, this would be the last
 time that the cove would see me in at least a while. I
 couldn't go looking like this wasn't important.  I pulled
 out the dress that I wore the first official day here. It
 was my blue plaid one. I had met Miss Alice and all of the
 mission residence in this dress. It was special to me. So,
 since I wore this when I first got here, why not where it
 the day I leave? I slipped it on, then put my hair into a
 bun. Besides my hair a bit sun streaked, my body a little
 more tougher, and my hope on an all time low, I looked the
 same. I washed my face, trying to wipe of the shattered
 look on it that I could feel at the very dept of my heart.
**************************** My hand was slipped into
 David's larger one as we walked a few feet ahead of
 Miss Alice and Doctor Ferrand to the Spencer's. When we
 arrived, the music stopped and everyone stared. Why did
 this have to seem so familiar? The last time it seemed
 like I was being put on trial, the jury being the whole
 cove. At least John Spencer was far from this. I gripped
 David's arm tight with my free hand as I stared, tears
 rolling down my cheeks. These people that I loved were
 against me, and now I was to leave them.  Neil strode
 over, a smile plastered on his face. He quickly wiped
 the tears away with his fingertips.  "Never let them
 see you with your defense down, Lass." He said with
 a light tone. I smiled weakly.  "Well, get the music
 playing again. Grantland, want to join one last time
 in the band? I know that instrument of yours is always
 with you. Christy, maybe you should try mingling in the
 crowd." Neil said, though when he said my name, his voice
 dropped to a whisper.  David, shyly, went over to Jeb and
 John and started to play. Tension was thick as I walked in
 no real direction. Neil seen that he had to lighten the
 mood, since no one was dancing, nor having any fun. Just
 putting me under a lot of pressure. He turned me around
 and started a waltz, and soon everything was forgotten.
 ************************************************************
 It wasn't long until Ruby Mae, a beautiful bride that
 was actually clean for once, showed up, fully dressed in
 layers of white material. Some of the whites were aged
 and therefore different colors, but that didn't matter
 at all.  She walked down the aisle. I was near the front,
 next to Neil, and across from Doctor Ferrand and Miss
 Alice. Neil's hands around my seemingly small ones were
 warm and comforting. He rubbed them back and forth when
 the cold wind would blow and I'd have a small shiver
 go through me. I laid my head down on his shoulder as
 tears again started to flow. Ruby Mae had reached me by
 this time. She stopped in front of me and looked at me
 with sympathy. For a moment, the joy was gone from her
 bright eyes. I immediately stopped crying - I couldn't
 ruin this day for one of my closest students. But right
 after the ceremony, while everyone else ate, I sat on a
 wooden bench, my face covered with my hands, as I sobbed
 silently. When a strong arm wrapped around my shoulders,
 I didn't have to guess who it was.  "Christy... you know,
 I could support you here if you'd be willing to stay. I
 know I am trying to get Alice to stay here for Margaret,
 but so far she refuses. But I could support you if you
 want to stay." Neil whispered into my ear as he laid my
 head on his chest.  "Neil, you have a hard time supporting
 Margaret. I would only be a burden, and too much work."
"You could never be that."  "You couldn't do it with
your salary."  "I could find a way."
 I lifted my head and looked Neil straight in the eye.
 "I don't want anything more than to stay here. But I know
 I can't. I must go back."  "How am I to know if I will
 ever see you again?"
"Maybe you should talk to Doctor Ferrand about that." My
 voice was filled with anger and spite. I sighed. "No, but
 really Neil, I'll stay in touch with you."  "You better
 believe it! I'm going to write you every week, and call
 you each night before you lay your head down on your
 rose scented pillow in Asheville. I'll fill you dreams
 with hopes with everything that I tell you. I can't let
 you go, Christy. I don't understand why I cant, but that
 doesn't really matter, now does it? Our friendship is
 strong, and can not be beaten by a few miles, right?"
"Right." I said, hugging him tight.
****************************
 We left for the train station right before the
 shivery. Ruby Mae had spent some time talking to me before
 she went inside with her friends. Neil fetched his horse
 and caught up to us.  "Where are you all going? The fun
 is just about to begin, right Christy?" Neil laughed,
 winking at me. I blushed as I felt Doctor Ferrand looking
 at me. I slowed down so I could ride beside him. We
 talked lightly, all of us planning to write to each other
 often. Once we were at the train station, Neil kept his
 arm around me as he told everyone to make sure that we
 didn't loose touch. He called my father for me to let
 me know I was on my way home, and then added a "Make
 sure you take care of her now that I won't be there."
 Leaving Neil behind was so hard. We waited for our
 different trains. Doctor Ferrand, to our great relief,
 left first. Then David. When Miss Alice's train arrived,
 I wasn't sure if I'd be able to let go of her. She was so
 hard to see getting on that train. So soon, it was just
 Neil and I. We waited, neither of us saying a word, just
 soaking up any comfort that we could. There wasn't much,
 but peace was around me in Neil's arms. It was just that
 I couldn't stop the pain at the pit of my stomach when
 I thought about what was to happen next.
**************************************** Home was lonely. I
 was surrounded by people who nothing about what real
 life was about. They were so niave, just like I was when
 I went to Cutter Gap.  I missed my mission family, and
 was always over joyed when a letter came from them. True
 to his word, Neil wrote me constantly, and called each
 night. He told all about his problems with Margaret, and
 how even though I was out of the cove, she knew how I had
 affected Neil's life and stole his heart away. I hated
 to be the center of their problems, but I knew that the
 longer I kept away from the cove, the better. If I got
 involved, it would only make things that much worse.
  Ruby Mae gave me a daily report of Cutter Gap and
 her married life. Within 3 years, she had 2 children
 - Christine Molly and Robert Charlie.  David was doing
 well. He stuck to his profession, though so many doubts
 surrounded him. He was a fine preacher in Boston, and
 very much liked. The papers raved about him - he was
 sure to add them to the letters as well.  Miss Alice
 was doing...doing good. What she had left of her family
 - a younger sister and her barely-hanging-on father,
 welcomed her. Her big brother and other sisters, as
 well as her mother, had passed away during the years.
 She said that she missed Margaret profoundly, but was to
 stick with her guns. Oh, and her Quaker circle was quite
 appalled that she went on hunting expeditions with the
 men, mostly because the number of her catches exceeded
 the men greatly.
By 1917,  Lizette Holcombe married Will Beck, Bessie and
  John Spencer married shortly after I left, and Zady was
  being courted by Wraight Holt, under much supervision
  because of Wraight's previous behavior, hanging out
  with Lundy Taylor.  I sat on the window seat in my room,
  anxiously awaiting the mailman. About 3-4 times a week
  I'd get a few letters, Ruby Mae's being backed up by
  the slow trains.
 I ran down the steps as fast as I could when I spotted
 him. I ran outside into the chilly air, unusual for April.
 My father was walking with the mailman, Mr. Erickson,
 about something very serious - deep lines of worry
 were etched into my father's face. I ran up to them.
 "Hello Mr. Erickson, welcome home, Daddy." I greeted
 cheerfully, but neither reciprocated it. "What's wrong?" I
 asked, panic setting in.  "The U.S. has now joined the
 Great War." My father said with concern. My father had
 been following this war exclusively from day one. He had
 me read every article about it too, wanting me to be
 educated about what was going on around us so I could
 pass it on to later generations.  "I think this is a
 great mistake, look at what we got ourselves into! We
 should have remained neutral." Mr. Erickson said sternly.
 "No, I don't think we should have at all. The U.S. is
 here to help - that includes wars, Roger." Daddy argued.
 Mr. Erickson handed me a stack of letters. I kissed my
 father's forehead and ran off when I heard the telephone
 ringing in our house. Could David had just heard too?
 "Hello? Huddleson residence." I answered.  "Hey Christy,
 did you hear?" David's voice did indeed come through. He
 jumped right to the point.
"Yes, just now. My father was working 3rd shift and just
came home."  "I sure hope that everyone in Cutter Gap stays
put."  "What do you mean?" I asked, that never occurring
to me.  "You know how patriotic they are there. Many in
the Civil War left, most never returned."  "David, how
did you find that out and I didn't? Neil never mentioned
that, and he told me all about the history of the cove."
"Could it be why he didn't tell you is because his own
father died in it? MacNeill was just a teenager when his
father died in....Atlanta, Georgia."  "The place that
Margaret lived in for all those years." I whispered in
shock. "Are you sure?"  "Positive. Ask Miss Alice, she'll
tell you. I just hope they stay rooted in those mountains
and don't go overseas. Some of those young boys...I just
don't know about them."  ***************
 The next day I decided to take action for what I believed
 in. Four years ago, I tried to convince people to be
 missionaries to help out the people of the Appalachian
 mountains. I had little success. Actually, I was made
 fun of, called names, and lost hope. Maybe with this
 war, people would be more patriotic and want to help the
 country in some way, just not in the sense of actually
 going to war.  I got dressed in a stiff dark blue two
 piece dress, then headed out. I could only pray that this
 time would be better. If I could get just one person...it
 would make all the difference.  I went to the town square,
 right in the middle of all the stores and restaurants,
 and started my plea.
"Hello gentlemen and ladies. I am Christy Huddleston,
  a former missionary for the Cutter Gap mission in
  Tennessee. The mission that I worked for closed down
  because of lack of funds and missionaries.  Those people
  up there need help. They depend on us. You could make
  all the difference in their lives if you are willing to
  give up some of your time and dedicate it to them.
 A missionary is the greatest vocation there is. You are
working hand and hand with God, someone who is always
there when you need Him. Please, help your neighbors of
the mountains. They need you."  This was a speech that
must have been obvious that I had little time to prepare.
I wasn't doing very good, and had managed to turn only
a few heads. Then one man pulled loose from the crowd
and walked up to me.  "What does one mission matter? You
may help one, but there are so many around the world,
you make no difference." He said lowly.  "There is great
need everywhere. That's why we need to start somewhere. If
everyone said a€˜I'm just one, I don't count', we wouldn't
be very far in this world, would we?"  "But the profession
of a missionary has gone on for centuries, and still there
is little progress."
 This man was putting me up for a test, but I was not
willing to back down.  "Love will change this world,
sir. Love is not measured in people, but intensity and
the amount of care. If you bombard someone with love and
tell them that this is just a sample of what they could be
feeling, they listen. That's how you convert them to God. I
did it, it works. It stops killings and feuds. Love is a
necessity in this world that is filled with hatred. I still
believe in love and mercy - how about you?"  "I believe
that you talk of nothing more than nonsense. Love is
pointless, and will help nothing in madness such as what
we deal with." He retorted.
 "Remember, hope is never gone as long as one heart still
holds onto it.  But these days, people get so wrapped
up in petty things that makes no difference. They get so
wrapped up that they lose sight of the important things
and get lost, so when something goes wrong, they have
no where to turn to and think that hope has flown from
the earth. Are you going to be one of those people to
contribute to the loss of hope? Because without that and
faith, we are nothing."  Obviously, the man was through
with this conversation and being made look like a fool,
because he stomped off. No volunteers were recruited that
day, but at least I could finally see some respect for
what I spoke of.  *****************************************
 There were 2 more letters in the next few  days - one from
 Miss Alice, and sure enough, one from Ruby Mae. I could
 only hope this would bring good news and not anything
 related to what David had told me.  I read first the one
 Miss Alice had written to me - she was on her honeymoon
 - she had married Doctor Ferrand, and asked me to look
 on it with joy, though she was aware of my deep hatred
 for the man; hatred that still welled in me. I hoped that
 Ruby Mae's would be more cheerful, but it was far from it.
 a€˜Dear Miss Christy,
        I write ya here while I'm cryin. Rob left us. Wel,
 he didn't leave us, but the country. He went to fight in
 the war. Will Beck, John Spencer, Wraight Holt, Arrowood
 Holcombe, all them went. Even the young a€˜uns like
 Creed, who is only 16, and Little Burl, just 12. I fear
 somethin fierce that Little Burl's age will be revealed. I
 don't know what to do, Miss Christy. Almost all the boys
 left. I'm so scared. I just found out that I was pregnant
 with twins too.  The Doc is going to help me with these,
 cause he said my body wasn't really ready for more just
 yet, let alone twins.  Oh Miss Christy, I don't know if
 there is anything you can do or not about the boys, but
 if there is, would you try it?  Christine is awailin. Rite
 you tomorrow.  Ruby Mae'

 I was in tears myself.  David indeed had been right. I
 ran into the dining room, where the telephone was and got
 David on the line, thankful that my parents were not home.
 "Hello?" David said, sounding sleepy.  "David, they're
 all gone. They all left! You were right." I said, my
 voice shaking "Wait, what's going on?"
"The boys in the cove - they left. They joined the army
 and they're gone. Even Little Burl! So many left their
 children and wives. They all want to be looked upon as
 heros when they come back, but I'm worried sick that
 they wont be coming home at all! I want so badly to
 help them, but I don't know how." I was sobbing now.
 "You can do nothing. They made their decision."
"Have you thought about enlisting?"  "Yes I did, but just
like MacNeill, my father and grandfather died in that war."
"Your father must have been young."  "He was. My older
brother enlisted, and my mother is near a heart attack
she is so worried. I think I'd finish her off if I'd go
over there. Besides, I really am not cut out for that."
"Is anyone? You know there are missions in Europe and
things."  "Yeah, for doctors and nurses."  I gasped. Why
hadn't I thought about it before? I had been in college
for 2 years for nursing, trying a new profession. I had
worked at the hospital for 2 months, and I would qualify!
 "David, I can help! I can be a nurse!"  "As long as you
stay in the U.S., that's fine with me."  "I won't be any
good here. I can go over to Great Britain somewhere and
join a mission. That way, I'd still be helping the cove!"
"Are you mad? You can't do that! And why is it so important
for you to help the cove? The cove is right next door to
you practically, not a world away!"  "David, don't you
remember what they all said to me before we left? I'd go
back to the city and get married, then never think about
them again. I'd completely change back into the person I
was before. But I promised them that I wouldn't, and so
far, I've been doing my best to keep up that promise with
sending Neil money for medical supplies and such for the
cove out of the money I get from working at the hospital.
I can be apart of this war, and help them out. My father
might not mind - he said that the U.S. should be apart
of this war."  "I'm sure when he said that, he wasn't
thinking about his own daughter getting in the middle
of  it!"  "Well all of those solders are children to
someone. Why can't I be one of them? Some one needs to
do it!"  "But not you! I won't let you."  "How are you
planning on stopping me?"  "I....I could marry you."
 I expected this to be followed with a laugh from him,
but there was none.  "Excuse me?" I said, humor coming
into my voice.
 "I could marry you."  "You know very well that I wouldn't
accept."
 "Can't you tell me why? Is it about MacNeill?"  "No, it
has nothing to do with him."  "Then what?"  "Marrying would
completely change me. I would lose sight of everything I
have now, for things that would become more important. I
don't want that. The cove said that I would marry and
change - I refuse to change from the person that they knew
me as."  "That is completely ridiculous!"
 "It's what I believe."  "So you are saying that you
will never get married?"  "No, I wont."  "Fine, don't get
married, but don't go into the war and die!"  "I won't die,
David! If I survived all that near killed me in Cutter Gap,
I can survive anything!"  "Christy, I beg you not to."
"There is no trying to talk me out of this. It's what's
going to happen."
 Soon after those words were out of my mouth, David hung
up.  ****************************************************
 I paced back and forth as I wrung my hands. How was
 I to tell my parents? Where would I start, and how
 could I convince them? I heard them coming, and tried
 to stop my pacing, but found it near impossible. I was
 so nervous. My mother hated the idea of Cutter Gap -
 how would she react now?  "Hello, Christy, how was your
 evening?" My mother asked as she came through the door,
 my father following her.
"Fine. I got to talk to David for a while, and...and had
a lot of time to think." I replied as they took off their
coats. I debated whether I should tell them now. Maybe in
the morning would be better. No, I knew that if I delayed
it, I never would be able to gather enough courage. But it
was so hard in trying to say the words! I felt shy talking
to my parents now.  "Momma....Daddy, I need to talk to
you." I said, very solemnly.  "Of course, just give us a
few minutes to get out of this clothing." My mother said
slowly, knowing that something wasn't quite right. After
they were dressed for bed, they returned downstairs and
sat on the sofa.  "We're ready." My mother urged when I
said nothing.  "I know, you just got ready faster than I
planned. Alright...um.....you know how I have been going
to nursing school for two years and have started working
as one? Well, I realize that that isn't what I want to do
in life. In Cutter Gap, I was never more happier, because
I knew I was helping people in my own way. I worked side
by side with God, and never felt closer.  Being a nurse
does not give me that same feeling that I thrive for.
So...I have decided to become a missionary again."
"Oh Christy, don't say that you are going all the way
to Cutter Gap again! I was hoping that you'd get a job
somewhere real close. Cutter Gap is so far away." My
mother said sadly. I sighed. If she thought Cutter Gap
was far, what would she think of the real place that
I'd be going to?  "I wasn't referring to Cutter Gap,
Momma. Actually, I'm not sure where they will put me, but
I'm going to sign up for the red cross tomorrow morning."
"Red Cross? But they are asking for volunteers for
the...."My father began, but started to drift off when he
caught on. My mother took a few seconds later.  "You are
not going into the war, missy. Do you hear me?" My mother
said angrily.  "Yes I am. I'm going to combine the two
jobs. I'll still be a nurse, but also a missionary."
"I said that you aren't going." My mother insisted.
"I am 27 years old, momma. I am old enough to know what I
am doing."  "But I was worried that you could get killed
in Cutter Gap...but in the war, so many die!"  "I won't."
"Girlie, I think you should reconsider." My father said
emotionless. He always got like that when he didn't approve
- tried to hide all emotions.  "I have been thinking on
this. It's what I am going to do. Daddy, did you not just
say five days ago that the U.S. is good to be in the war?"
"I wasn't referring to you going in."
 "But someone has to do it, Daddy. Please, you raised me
 to be considerate, compassionate, and willing to help
 those in need. But Daddy, when you help someone in need,
 there is always a danger of getting hurt. You taught me
 to care always, not just when convenient or when I can't
 get hurt."  It went on...and on...and on until my mother
 finally broke down, aware that she could not win this
 time. I fled to my room.
************************************ I went downstairs
 that night. My parents were both having a snack, not
 having eaten supper because they had went to a party
 instead. Unfortunately, I couldn't wait any longer to
 make a phone call that I knew I had been delaying. The
 problem was, the telephone was less than 3 feet away from
 my parents. I would just have to deal with them listening.
"Hello?" A half asleep Scottish brogue came through
 the line.
"Hi Neil." I said softly.  "Do you realize what time it
is?" Neil said, his voice exaggerating.  I looked at the
clock. "It's only 10."  "I got up at 4!"  "I'm sorry, Neil,
is this a bad time?"  "No, I'm sorry Christy, my nerves
are shot."  "Margaret?"  "Well, she's constantly making
my nerves raw. But besides her, it's your best friend."
"Fairlight?"  "Yes Fairlight. That woman sure is pushy!"
 I couldn't help but giggle.  "What did you want
to talk to me about?" Neil returned to the reason.
"I needed to let you know something before you heard it
from someone else."  "What is it?"  "You know how I have
been going to nursing school and all, right?"  "Right."
"I'll jump to the point - I'm going to be volunteering
for the red cross. I'm going to go overseas to the war."
"You're doing WHAT?"  "You heard, Neil."  "I don't believe
my ears."  "Believe them, Neil. They are one thing that
shouldn't deceive you for a while yet."  "Christy, what
you said is absurd! You can't be serious."  "I am."
"Christy, you are very impulsive and impetuous. You get an
idea, then jump in head first to realize the hard landing
to late. Have you thought this over at all?"  "Yes, I
have!"  a€˜Since?"  "Since this afternoon."  "Christy!"
"Neil, I know what I want."  "Christy, did Grantland give
you this idea?"  "Oh, no! David was completely against
this!"  "For once I must say that I agree with him and he
has some sense. Christy, you're not going to join the war."
"Yes I am, Neil."  "No, you're not."  "You can't stop me."
"Christy, don't be childish."  "I'm not being childish!"
"NO?"  "Please Neil..."  "Christy, I couldn't bear to
see you end up dead. If you would....it would kill me. I
can not support this."  "You don't have to support it. I
wanted to tell you though. Neil, I'll write you everyday."
"Christy, if you go over there, I will make you one promise
- that I will never open any of your letters. Not only
that, I will never talk to you again."  "You going to
shun me?"
 I couldn't help it, sobs had already started wrenching
from my body a while ago. Now they were coming out
full force.  "Christy-" "Does this have something to
do with your father?"  "How do you know about him?"
"David told me he died in the civil war."  "I was just
13." He whispered, full of emotion.
 "Neil...I'm so sorry, but I have to do this." The words
barely made it out, emotion blocking much of my way.
"I'm sorry, but I'll stick to my promise." Anger filled
his voice.  "Neil!"
 But it was too late - he had hung up on me as well.
 Sobs overwhelmed me. Putting te receiver back, I slowly
 slid down the wall, then burying my head in my knees.
*************************** Don't worry if this seems kind
 of dull right now - it gets REALLY exciting soon!
**********************************************************************************************
*~* Jill *~*

The next day I rose before the sun. I quickly got dressed,
 then headed out to the Asheville hospital, leaving a note
 behind, telling of my whereabouts.  At the hospital,
 there was a large table with a uniformed nurse behind
 it, greeting everyone with a warm smile.  Behind her,
 was a sign indicating that she was from the Red Cross.
 I walked up to her, my knees shaking.  "Good morning,
 ma'am." The woman said.
" Hello. I want to sign up tp be a volunteer of the Red
Cross."  " Great! There are some questions I need to ask
of you first. First of all, your name?" She said, getting
a form.  "Christy Huddleston."  "Age?"  "Twenty-seven."
" Experience in nursing?"  "I had two years in college
for it, did all my clinicals and such, and worked in
the hospital as a nurse for two months."  "Experience in
other vocations?"  "I was a missionary schoolteacher in
Cutter Gap, Tennessee."
 Other questions were asked, answered, then she ended with
"We'll call you as soon as we can with your position."
******************************
 "Girlie, telephone is for you." My father yelled up
 the stairs. I ran down them, and grabbed the receiver.
 "Hello?"
"This is Amy Kapp from the Red Cross.  We have a position
for you. If you are able, we can send someone out to
pick you up and get you on a ship as soon as tomorrow."
"Of course, but where am I to be located at?"  "London."
London? Wow. I was going there? It seemed so neat - but I
knew this was one of the worse places. How could I tell my
parents that I was going to a place that had been attacked
42 times in the last 3 years?  Well, I managed. And was
soon jumping out of bed to greet the new day that would
be the beginning of a new life. Again.
 I quickly got dressed and ran into my parents room. They
 were still fast asleep. I kissed their foreheads and
 whispered goodbye. They partly awoke to say their sad
 goodbyes, and I grabbed my luggage and left. That was it
 for weeks. I stayed on the ship that was to be taking me
 to London.  Once arrived, I was escorted to the mission,
 which took a whole day and into the night - I slept as
 best as I could in the rocking old automobile.  Then, the
 next day I had to walk 10 miles to the mission. But it
 was in great spring weather, so it couldn't compare
 to what I went through to get to the last mission.
 When we actually stepped into the house, it was 4:30 AM.
 "Better catch some sleep.  Wake hour is 6." The man
 escorting me whispered. I nodded. He pointed up the steps.
"Go up there, find and an empty bed - my luck be with you
 with that. It's really dark. Slide your luggage under
 the bed - you'll unpack tomorrow." Were his final words
 before leaving for what looked like a bunkhouse about 20
 yards away.  I slowly climbed the stairs as they noisily
 creaked. It was pitch dark, and I could see nothing. I
 opened the door, then groped around to see if I could
 find my way. Finally, I did, and an empty bed was my
 reward. I climbed in, but it seemed that as soon as I
 shut my eyes, an alarm was going off, and the sun was
 shining brightly though white curtians at two windows, one
 at either side of the room. I listened to all the women
 start getting up, but my heavy eyelids rebelled against
 me and refused to open. I could not blame them - I hadn't
 a decent night's sleep since I left home! Or what was my
 home. This was my home now. Sadness filled my heart, but
 not for long.  "Miss...Miss, you must wake up - it's time
 to start our day." A woman with a musical voice awoke me.
 My eyes fluttered open. Squinting from the sun, I saw
 a beautiful woman with strawberry blonde hair and dark
 blue eyes. With the sun casting all around her, I could
 have swarn that she was an angel! I smiled weakly, her
 cheerfulness becoming contagious.  "Sorry you can't sleep
 in , I heard you come in at near 5 - but I didn't think
 you would want to miss all the introductions before all
 of us scatter to do our separate jobs."  I rose from my
 comfortable bed. She handed me a starched white dress -
 a nurse's uniform. A cap with the red cross symbol came
 with it. I got dressed, trying to hide a blush that was
 rising in me - since I got up late, all the rest of the
 women were dressed, and now watching me fumble into such a
 tight dress. So much for a good first impression! Finally,
 once dressed, I sat on the bed and brushed my hair into a
 bun. Introductions started as everyone waited. The woman
 with strawberry blonde hair that had woken me, started
 first.  "I'm Nancy Seemore. I'm 27, and am one of the
 first to arrive here. I came from Arizona. My brother,
 Brandon, is a doctor. You'll meet him shortly." She said.
 "I'm Christy...Christy Huddleston. I'm 27 as well, from
 Asheville, North Carolina."  A chubbier woman, with
 near black wavy hair, shoulder length, and bright blue
 eyes was next.  "My name is Sally Longfield. I'm 32,
 from New York City, New York."  Next was a thin young
 girl with short brown hair and blue eyes. "My name is
 Beth, I'm 22, and from Ohio."  The introductions went
 all around the room until all 17 nurses, including me,
 had spoken. Then we filed down the stairs and into the
 dining room. I had weathered so many things in the last
 few years, but nothing would have prepared me for what
 I saw in front of me.
  "Christy, these are the doctors, Brandon, Pete, Harry,
and Kyle. And then the man who runs this mission - Doctor
Ferrand."  **************************************** ~*
Jill *~*


 Alright, I realized a mistake that I made. Christy is 24,
 not 27. Bethany is now from NJ, and Brandon is Bethany's
 brother. and...and that's about it. :) Here's ther story!
*********************************************************************************************************
I stared in complete shock. Nancy led me to my seat -
there was only two men between Doctor Ferrand and I.
 "So, you are my recruit once again, Miss Huddleston? Lord,
help us all!" He said, though I couldn't tell if he
was joking or not.  "Unfortunately, Doctor." I answered
emotionless.  "Still mad at me?" A light came into his
eyes, telling me that his rye humor was on the way, but
a light also lit in mine - but it was fire sparking
in my case.  "I shall never forgive you for what you
did. Never. It is because of you that I am seperated from
everyone I care about."  "I did not tell you to come here-"
"You shut down my mission!"  "It was never your mission,
Miss Huddleston - it was mine."  "You never really cared
about it was in your name, that's all."  "Either way - it
was my choice in what to do with it."  "Sadly - yes. How
you can live with a clear conscience is beyond me."
"Why would I be bothered?"  "Because there are people in
the mountains starving! Because children are being deprived
of education!" I yelled.  "There are people starving
everywhere, I can not help them all."  " Only because you
gave up and forgot about what used to be so important to
you and Miss Alice."  "Christy, she is not a€˜Miss' anymore
- she's my wife."  I made a disgusted face. "I will never
see her as your wife. She could have done so much better
if she would only have let herself believe that she is
not worthless because of her past."  "You have no right
to say such things - you are not like Margaret that is
actually her daughter."  "It's tragic that Margaret died -
but I must say that she must be grateful she died before
you married her mother so she wouldn't have your name."
"I'm sure Alice would have loved to heare that."  "She
don't need to - she knows deep down. What I can't stand
is that MISS Alice was like a mother to me. I used to say
that she was my second mother. I can't do that anymore."
"God forbid that you'd have to be around me." He muttered.
"Exactly."  "Good Lord, you don't change a bit, do you?"
I gave him a sweet, mocking smile. "You can bet your life
on it, Doctor."
 Then I remembered that I was at a table with an
audience. Blushing, I sat down instead of hovering over
the table. Now, I had lost a good first impression from
the woman and the men! I looked around and saw everyone
staring at me - some with their mouths hanging open,
and others with big approving grins.  "You two ready
for breakfast now?" Bethany asked, sustaining a giggle.
***********************************************************
 "Upstairs to the right is the men's bedroom, and like
 you already know, to the left is the women's." Nancy
 said, pointing up the steps. She was giving me a tour of
 the grounds.  "Of course, we are standing in the dining
 room. To our right is the very small kitchen, which feels
 like it's about 3 feet wide when we're trying to make
 meals, and to the other side is the parlor. Beyond the
 parlor is Doctor Ferrand's office. No one disturbs him
 there except for emergencies." Then we went onto the
 front porch. She pointed to a large tent, or I should
 say tents, for it looked like there was four of them put
 together, each about 20 feet by 20. It was to our left,
 about a good 30 feet away.
"This first entrance is for the emergencies, only to be
used for nurses and doctors who are to be working on the
patients in there, and of course, the immediate cases
themselves. This next room is the recovery room - self
explanatory. Next one is the sick room - people with
diseases and illnesses stay in here, that's why there
is plastic on the sides of the beds, hanging from the
ceiling. Next room is the waiting one - the cases that
aren't bad stay in here - this room gets filled quickly,
and where we nurses spend most of our days." Then, we were
out of there too. I wasn't very fond of the tents - it was
stuffy and smelled of a strong plastic odor, even though
the walls flapped with the breeze. It mustn't be very warm
in here in the wintertime.  I had hopes though, that this
war would be over before the autumn cold.  "Over there is
the barn." She pointed to the building about 100 feet away
from the mission.  "It's green - and not just one shade." I
said, my brow wrinkling.  Nancy smiled. "Yeah, paint is
on a shortage - we got what we could. Do you believe that
red was more expensive?"
 We went inside and I was amazed at how large it was. The
ceiling must have been 20 feet from the ground, and the
width and length was about 40 feet each. There was hay
in the loft, but no animals.  "Where are the animals
at?" I asked.
 "Don't have any. Not yet at least. We're hoping to get
 some horses as soon as we can afford them - we are waiting
 for money donations, but they are rare."  I inwardly
 grinned, remembering when I had tried to help out in
 donations. I was pretty sure that I'd stay out of the
 way in that subject this time - I was already on Doctor
 Ferrand's bad side. But at least I didn't have to worry
 that he'd fire me! I didn't get paid a cent - just food
 and board. And he needed all the volunteers he could get.
 "Hey girls, what are you doing?" I heard a man come up
 from behind us ask. I turned around to see that it was
 Pete, along with the rest of the men at the table.
"Thought that we should introduce ourselves to you as well,
Miss Huddleston. You were so upset at the table, that
we thought that we should wait until you cooled down."
I blushed." Sorry about that." I said shyly.  "I liked
it! Showed real spunk. All of us have been way too afraid
to stand up to him. He needs to be put in his place every
now and then." Pete said, giving me a look of approval.
"Anyway, I might not be the eldest of the group, but
I'm the one who is the mostly leads this pack. I'm Pete
Kinnigan, 27 years of age. You talked about Doctor MacNeill
- I know him as well." My eyes went wide.  "Are you the son
of the professor of ophthalmology? Neil loved him. Called
him the greatest."  Pete smiled proudly. "That be me. Well,
here is Brandon Seemon, he's 26. Bit of a hissy, but
he's alright." Pete gave me a teasing smile as he wrapped
his arm around Brandon as he joked. Brandon pulled away.
"I'm not a hissy, Pete! Just because I'm the youngest! And
if it-" "Guys, that's enough - we're in front of the
women here. Not a very good way of flattering the new
girl." A chubby man with curly bright red hair and dancing
blue eyes.  "You don't impress someone by calling them the
new girl either." Brandon muttered bitterly. Pete pointed
to the man.  "That's Harry Tubbor. He'd 37, and always
jolly. Kinda like Santa, even growin' a beard!"  I rolled
my eyes at the petty humor.  "And that's the opposite -
Kyle Hughs. He's...30, and quite a sour one. Dont warm
up to strangers quick."  After introductions, Bethany
led us to the kitchen.  "Christy, I'll warn you know. We
don't have any patients right now, thank the Lord, but
don't be fooled - that don't mean that it goes any easier
here for us. Doctor Ferrand is convinced that more work
is better. We're here to work, so work we shall do!" She
ended with a quote. The look all the women gave me assured
me that she was not exaggerating. With determination, I
rolled up my sleeves, and got ready to clean. I was going
to prove to that Doctor Ferrand that I was the best worker
he ever had!  *****************

*~* Jill *~*

 ***************** Days passed, and the schedule they
 had here started to become familiar to me.  Two men, ill
 with the flu, was now being cared for here, but that was
 about it.  I started almost wishing that there would be
 more excitement after two weeks of laying back, even
 if friendships were starting. But by the next day, I
 was wishing that I hadn't thought such things!  I was
 finishing up the dishes when I saw Pete running as fast
 as he could here. He had been at the village about 20
 minutes away for most of the today. I dried my hands on
 my apron and rushed to the porch.
"Pete?" I worriedly asked him.  "They're attacking." He
said breathlessly. "They are slaughtering people with their
guns." I could barely hear what he was saying, but somehow
everyone in the other rooms heard perfectly well. War was
in motion here once again.
 I turned around at the sound of something ripping. I saw
 Brandon ripping a tiny square of a few inches from the
 little 3 ft long rug in the middle of the room. The now
 bare part of the floor revealed a rope with a strong knot
 at it's one end, the other end going through the floor. He
 stepped off of the rug, then pulled. That 3 foot part of
 the floor that the rug covered was now exposing a hidden
 room down below. All the nurses and doctors hurried down
 a ladder provided there already. Someone grabbed me and
 pulled me down it as well. It led us to a wood paneled
 room with a dirt base floor. This room was small, not
 more than 6 foot, both length and width, yet 16 nurses
 and 5 doctors were crammed inside it. We all sat there
 with our shoulders digging hard into the ones next to
 us. Pete was the only one not included in this. Instead,
 he was fidgeting with a ring of keys - about 10 in all. He
 shoved each one into a lock on the wall. I knew not why
 there would be a lock on the wall, but something told me
 that I was to find out soon.  Trying the last key, the
 lock clicked, and a door that perfectly blended in with
 the wall flung upwards. Pete looked at Doctor Ferrand.
"Should we get everyone in there?" He asked. I strained my
neck to see what he was referring to. I saw that the door
opened to a large dirt tunnel. It looked like a groundhog
tunnel, only magnified. Where did that lead? I knew just
one thing - it looked dark, and I did not want to go
into such a place, especially when all the nurses were
holding their breaths, praying that they needn't go in.
"It's small in there - the maximum stay in there is about
an hour. Lets hold off as long as we can." Doctor Ferrand
answered solemnly.  But soon we could hear gunshots
sounding in the distance. Pete gave Doctor Ferrand an
anxious look, and the doctor nodded.  Pete started ushering
everyone, slowly, into the tunnel. By the time I was there,
someone had lit a candle that was in here, thankfully. We
had to stand in this room, it was so little.  It was shaped
in a circle, and it was so tight I wasnt sure if I could
breath, or be able to get out. I heard many yelps going
around as burning wax fell upon bare feet and arms; some
of these people coming straight from sleeping.
 We stayed in here for an antagonizing hour. There was
 little oxygen, and most were wheezing and gasping for
 breath, including me.  We managed our way through the
 tunnel, into the larger room, up the steps, and finally,
 in the mission house. How sweet daylight was! It hurt my
 eyes and made me squint, but was the beautiful sign that
 we were no longer underground!
*************************************************************
 I had been at the mission for a month, and was fitting
 in well. Doctor Ferrand continually got on my bad side
 and made my nerves raw. Consequently, we buted head
 constantly. But that didn't stop my dreams from flowing.
  There were 8 men in our care, 2 still sick, and 6 with
gunshot wounds. I felt sorry for them. They awoke each time
to a stuffy plain hospital tent. Most of us were to tired
to be cheerful, so it mustn't of been very pleasurable for
them. But I wanted to create a reputation that we had a
great hospital - a special one. Full of joy and laughter. I
looked around the tents. These plain walls weren't going to
help that. With determination, I marched into the mission.
"Aw, Christy's going to stir up more trouble with the boss
- she got that face on again!" Pete teased as I went up
to the office door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on it.
 "Who is it?" Came the gruff reply from Doctor Ferrand.
"Me."
 "There are many people here - please specify a€˜ me.'"
"Oh come on! You know who it is!" I shouted desperately. I
heard chuckles coming from the men listening in the
dining room.
 "Come in." His voice was reluctant.  I walked in, then sat
on the chair in front of his desk, where he was seated.
"Excuse me, but I don't remember giving you permission
to sit."  I rolled my eyes, getting annoyed. I sprung up.
"May...I...please sit down?" I said between my clenched
jaw.  "Yes. But Miss Huddleston, will you never grasp
the concept of leaving me alone when I'm in here? This
is where I have some privacy! Or am suppost to!"
"So when do all of us get our privacy, doctor? Never!"
He sighed. "What did you come here for, Miss Huddleston?"
"The patients are restless and upset. They're bored. I was
wondering if we could take some books out of the library
to let them read them to pass the healing time along?"
"Fine, you can do that. Anything else?" I knew he had
agreed solely to get me out of here - the reason he
always agreed.  "In Cutter Gap, you never gave us enough
funds for anything more than necessities.  So, I had
to learn how to make paint. Right now, all the flowers
and things we need for paint are in bloom. If I can
make it, will you let me paint the walls of the tents?"
"What? No!"  So, I wasnt so lucky this time. But I wasnt
giving up. I kept going until he agreed. Not only did
he say I could paint the tents, but the inside of the
barn as well! The only rule was that it was to be on
my time - the time that I was nursing was never to be
interfered by this. I promised that it wouldn't, then ran
into Pete's arms. He swung me around in jubilation. He
didnt really care if the walls were painted or not, but
that I had on yet another battle in our own mission war.
***************************************************
 I spent days making up the paint, and nights sketching the
 designs. I loved getting back in touch with my creative
 side! After two weeks, I had the tents done. Now, all
 I had to do was the barn. It was to be special - so I
 really had to think about it.  "Christy, supper time!" I
 heard Bethany yell from downstairs. I grabbed my sketch
 book that I was working in, and rushed down, then plopped
 myself in my chair. Since no one was there, I propped my
 knees on the side of the table, put my sketch pad against
 my legs to make it stand up, then placed the pencil in
 my hair, the corner of the large eraser in my mouth, and
 the pen in my hand, making corrections. Soon, the room
 was filling up and the supper was served. I paid no mind
 to it all though, I had slipped into my own world. That
 suited me just fine, but not Pete.  "Christy, supper
 time." He reminded gently.
"I know." I said. I lifted my hand to see my work, when
Pete grabbed my wrist.  "Christy, your hands are always
stained!" He exclaimed with a smile.  "The paint does that
- they'll be stained for about a week after I finish it
all the painting."
 "Put your painting sketches away and eat." He whispered.
"But I just-" "Alright - Kyle, Brandon, go ahead." Pete
said. I looked at him confused, and not aware of where
the two men were. Suddenly, I felt someone tickling my
sides. I was giggling so much that the grip on all of my
things loosened, and Brandon quick grabbed everything
- even the pencil and eraser; the eraser falling to
my lap when I started laughing. Finally, Kyle stopped
tickling, and I was reduced to everyone laughing still and
a supper the was growing cold. But the humor in Pete's
eyes that I got was worth it, and I didn't mind at all.
************************************************* *~*
Jill *~*


************************************************* I was
 standing in the doorway of the barn, surveying it. I
 chewed on the end of my pencil as I compared the sketches,
 in my outstretched arms, to the actual barn. I screamed
 when I felt arms slipping around my waist. I turned around
 in whosever arms they were to see who had snuck up on
 me. It was Pete, of course. He was always finding ways
 to startle me - he loved catching me off guard to hear me
 let out a surprised, shrilling scream.  I gave him a stern
 look, but the rye grin on our faces made it disappear.
"You best hurry up in here, it's been decided that
 there is a dance for all of us to be held here."
 I smiled. "Lovely.  How about you just get a whip for
 me to more faster?" I teased with a sweet smile. Pete
 chuckled.
"I thought you should know, maybe go a bit faster so you
don't have stained hands for the dancing - fancy dresses
and purple fingers don't go very well together! And
I could take over some of your work for you as well."
"That's really nice, Pete, but it's okay. Besides, I don't
have any fancy dresses. And if you want the barn to look
nice, then some beauty will have to be sacrificed on me."
"You're beautiful no matter what - sacrificing beauty is
impossible when it comes to you."  "You're flattery doesn't
work on me, Peter." I giggled, then walked away. But
he walked in front of me.  "I was just softening you
up so I can ask you if you'd go to the dance with me."
"Sorry, but I won't be dancing."  "What do you mean? Why
wouldn't you?"  "The last time I danced with someone -
it was special, or at least the man that I was dancing
with was. I like being able to say that he was the last
person I danced with."  "You're talking about MacNeill
again, aren't you?"  "Yes, I am."  "How long ago was your
last dance?"  "Well...about four and a half years ago."
"Cant you dance with us here, then dance with him when
you get back to the states?"  "But the whole time we're
here-" "You are going to skip all the fun? This is a way
of relieving tension that has built up in us. There will
be many when more patients come in. Are you going to skip
every one and miss out on them?"  "I'll think about it,
but that is all I am promising."  "Christy, when was
the last time you were kissed?"  Hesitation to answer
filled me."Well....um...four years ago."  "That's to
long." Pete leaned down to kiss me, but I placed the palm
of my hand on his chest, pushed him away, then left the
barn without looking back. I would think about dancing
- but nothing more - even for a good friend like Pete.
************************************************************
 Two weeks went by. With alittle help from Nancy, Bethany,
 Brandon and Pete, I was able to finish the barn. We all
 stood in the doorway, admiring our work. The wall opposite
 from us was the wall I loved the best. There were two
 huge doves facing eachother, a large red cross between
 them, touching their beaks. A golden rim was around them,
 giving it a heavenly glow. I loved it best at sunset
 when the real heavenly glow was cast upon the wall.
 The dance was tomorrow, and I had yet to give Pete any
 sign of going or not. I decided that I would go, but
 I would hand out the punch and do the catering, since
 someone had to. Bethany was sure that it wouldn't last
 long though, and that I'd be on the dance floor before
 the the dance was even half way through.
"Those men don't take no for an answer, especially
Pete and my brother. They beg, and do anything
else to change your mind. Be prepared." She warned.
************************************************************
 Later that night, the girls returned to the bedroom. I
was exhausted from staying up so late the previous weeks,
that I was using this day off to catch up in sleep. Or I
was trying to. Having no door to enter the room, nor much
of a wall the was next to the stairs, I awoke to the girls
knocking on the rotting doorjam.  "Christy, we hate to wake
you, but we are getting everything ready for the dance -
there won't be anytime tomorrow before the dance, we'll
be decorating. So, we are choosing our dresses from the
charity boxes that we recieved a few days ago. The boxes
included so women's wear, but all we need is men's for
the solders, so Doctor Ferrand told us that the nurses
could have them. Anyway, we were going through them, and
found a perfect one for you." Nancy explained. Bethany
entered the room, holding up a dress. Sarah, a 25 year
old nurse that I was not quite acquainted with yet, due to
her shyness, helped display the dress. It was beautiful.
It was a slender, silk white dress with frilly material
and lace to make up the off-the-shoulder sleeves.  A full,
swishy skirt gave it a beautiful touch.
 "It's gorgeous -   but don't one of you want to wear
it since I won't even be dancing?"  "You'll be dancing,
none of us doubt that. The men are going to flock to
you." Marie, 27, laughed. "Or at least Brandon and Pete
will!"  ************************************************
 The next day went by quickly. We made a paper chain from
 newspaper that went all the wall around the barn, and
 two extra ones for the punch and snack tables. There had
 been scrunched up paper that we taped to the wall to spell
 out letters. This was our welcome sign. I used the little
 left over paint to add more color and have it stand out
 against the black wall with stars twinkling on it, just
 like the wall opposite of it. Bethany, Marie, Sarah, and
 about 4 others, including me, did this while Nancy led
 the rest in baking goods. Nancy was a great cook, and
 so the rest of us that was a bit shaky in the kitchen
 volunteered to do this instead.  "Barn is finished, what
 about the baked goods and the juice?" Marie asked at the
 supper table, the first time that day that we saw the
 other girls and the men.
"Finished - but no one is allowed to see what we
made until the dance." Nancy said with a sly smile.
"Do you girls need any last minute help with the barn or
anything?" Pete asked.  "No, we managed by ourselves just
fine." I said.  Once supper was finished, all the girls
ran up the steps and put up the curtain to keep out stray
eyes. Then, all the girls got their dresses on - all but
me. The girls decided that they wanted to slip back into
childhood. They used me as a doll, and said they'd take
care of everything.  "Deep breath, Christy." Nancy said,
holding my corset strings. I took a weak one, but she wasnt
satisfied. "Deeper, Christy. Don't you want to look good
for tonight?"
 I did what she said, but regretted it right away when she
pulled hard. I gasped.  "I...can't...breath!" I exclaimed,
panting.  "You're fine!"  "No, Nancy, I cant breath."
"You're talking, aren't you?"  "Nancy!"  Marie came to my
rescue. She lessened the tightness, but not by much. It
was just enough to catch light breaths.
 Next, they slipped the dress on over me. The back
 had strings as well - they pulled them just as tight.
 When they finished, I felt lightheaded. I tried to sit,
 but couldn't bend well. So, I laid down, and they put on
 my make up while I did. Then came my hair. I wanted it up
 to keep it out of my way, but they insisted it be down to
 show off my curls. Finally, they finished. I told them
 to go on ahead of me. When they had left, I went to the
 mirror and rubbed off some of the blush that was layered
 on. I would have loosened the corset and dress, but I
 couldn't reach any of the strings, try as I might. So, I
 gave up and went downstairs. It was empty - Pete must have
 caught on to my hints finally. In high heels, I picked my
 way through the soft earth until I got to the barn. Doctor
 Ferrand was setting up a phonograph, the girls setting up
 the food, and the men hovering over them to try and grab
 what they could.  When I entered, all heads turned to me,
 everyone freezing. Nancy and Bethany gave me reassuring
 smiles. Before any men could ask me for a dance, I went
 behind the punch table and helped set up the cups. The
 food looked delicious - gingerbread men Nancy was swept
 up by Brandon, Kyle got Sarah, and Harry got Sally. With
 the music going, we watched the three couples. Pete walked
 up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.
"You sure you don't want to dance?" He asked. I looked
over my shoulder.  "I could have sworn that we went over
this already."  "Your words tell me you don't want to,
but the longing in your tell me that your words lie."
I sighed, then nodded. Bethany was right, Pete wouldn't
mind pleading all night if he had to.
 After about the third dance, Brandon wanted to cut in,
but Pete forbidden it, whether I was going to say yes or
no. What was with men these days? Even Neil, when I was
dancing with Nathan Stone that one time long ago, left
me no say in if I wanted to dance with him. It was more
of a demand - like Brandon's. Before I really knew what
was happening, Pete stood in front of me, not letting me
be apart of this, and they were soon yelling at eachother.
"Pete, you had her for three dances, it's my turn!" Brandon
said sternly through clenched teeth.  "There are 15 other
girls here - I'm dancing with Christy, that leaves you,
Kyle and Harry to five girls each!"  "I want Christy, not
the other girls!"
 I put my hands over my face, but as soon as I heard a fist
greeting flesh and bones, I put my hands down, daring to
see what happened. Brandon threw a punch at Pete, landing
on his unprepared jaw. Pete, anger flaring, stepped away
from me and hit Brandon. This went on without anyone else
even taking notice. I ran to Doctor Ferrand.  "Can't you
stop them?" I asked, my voice shaking. The elderly doctor
just shook his head.  "They won't stop for anyone or
anything. You jump in to stop them, and you wind up with
a black eye. I'll say one thing though - kind of reminds
you of David and Neil, doesn't it?"  "At least they were
only verbal." I said, looking around desperately. I had
to do something. I marched up to the two men and got near
Brandon, facing Pete. Then, with the palms of my hands, I
pushed Pete as hard as I could. He tumbled and fell to the
ground. When Brandon tried to attack Pete, I did the same
to him. Both were dazed as they sat on the floor, being
supported by their straight arms. This didn't last long
though.  Brandon jumped up when Pete stumbled to his feet.
The fight was back on and there was nothing I could do this
time - their punches were flying everywhere. I was sure to
be hit if I dared get close.  Blood was everywhere, even
splattering on my freshly painted walls. I glared angily
at them - they would be hearing about this later. When
I saw a tooth get spit out and landed near my feet,
I got disgusted. I growled, then started to walk out
when I saw to elderly men, the one probably in his late
50's, the other well in his 60's. I gasped in surprise.
Pete and Brandon quick looked at me to see what I had
been surprised of. Brandon, his fist on his way to Pete's
unexpected cheek, froze.  "What is going on here?" One
man said sternly.  "Care to explain, Brandon?" The other
responded. I heard Brandon curse under his breath.
"Sorry, father." He said lightly, and cursed again.
***************************************** "Who are they?" I
whispered to Nancy and Bethany, whom I had walked over
to. I heard Brandon getting yelled at by his supposedly
father.  "The one with the good lungs - that's my dad -
James Healy."  "That sounds familiar - oh, that was -" "One
of the men that helped Neil MacNeill." Beth finished with
a smile.  "Why is he here?"  "Works here - he left to go to
another hospital that was in greater need than us. Never
told us when he'd be back - but that was typical. Dad
never paid us much mind. Sure is stern though."  "And who
is the other man?"  "Jesse Jenkins. Just another doctor
that my father and Pete's used to work with. Guess their
here to stay this time. Picked a great day to show, huh?"
**********************************************************


*~* Jill *~*

**********************************************************
 There was one place on this mission property that you
 had a slight chance of being alone while there. I wanted
 to have some privacy, not that I really knew what the
 word meant really after all this time, so I went for
 it. Climbing the ladder, I made my way to the roof of
 the barn, the inside now empty. There was one part on
 the roof, in rectangular shape, went about 5 feet below
 the slanted point of the roof. It was about 4 feet in
 length and width. I sat here, hugging my legs close to
 my chest, my chin resting on my knees. Tears slipped
 as I sat, looking at the north star, and thought about
 home. How I missed it so much! With the full moon gazing
 lovingly down on me, I was reminded of the clear nights
 in Cutter Gap when I would become restless. I didn't even
 bother trying to wipe away the tears anymore - they came
 so steadily that it became apparent that trying to keep
 my face dry right now was utterly impossible.  But even
 though I was 20 feet in the air and on a roof, this was
 not protecting my privacy for long.
"Nice night out, huh?" Pete asked, his body slowly rising
as he climbed the ladder.  "Yes." was my short answer. Pete
squatted down to meet my eye level.  "I'm sorry about
what happened today, Christy. It wasn't intentional, and
I'm sorry you got caught in it."  I looked at him with
eyes welling with tears.  "It's alright, I'm not upset
about that." Then with a teasing smile, I added, "as
long as the two of you clean your blood off of my walls."
"Yeah...sorry about that too. And for the record - it's
not all my blood. By the way, I recall you being not
the biggest fan of heights - so why are you up here?"
"Got a better place to find some privacy?"  "You were
looking for privacy?"  "No, I had it until you came." I
smiled at him, but it soon died.  "What's wrong, Christy? I
said that I was sorry for tonight, but-" "It's not about
tonight, it's...about something else."  "What?"  "It sounds
childish, and I'm kind of ashamed of it."  "Tell me."
"I'm homesick and I miss my parents and everyone so much."
"Why should you be ashamed of that?"  "Because it's not a
real problem, yet I let it plague my mind."  "Christy, we
all get homesick sometimes, including me. You are no
exception. You just...got to get your mind off of it."
"I've tried. I kept busy, thinking that would cure it, but
you can only run away from it for so long."  "True, you
cant keep running from it, you got to face your problems."
"How? How do you do it, Pete?"  Pete took me in his
arms. "Who were you thinking about before I got here? The
last person."  "My father."  "Okay, tell me what you miss
about your father."  I sunk into his chest as I smiled,
staring at the north star again as if it was a picture of
Daddy.  "I miss his soft, warm blue eyes that always gave
me a look of approval and love. And I miss his comforting
smile in hard times that told me everything would work out
and be fine in the end.  I miss the way he looked when he
called me Girlie and Little Miss and when he told me how
proud he was of me for doing something good when I was
really down. I miss his encouragement and the extra push
that he always gave me when I needed it most. And I miss
him being there for me."  "Now that you said that," Pete
said, clearing his throat, " Do you feel better?"  I looked
at him in amazement. "Yes, yes I really do. Thanks, Pete."
He gave me a gently hug. "Who else were you missing?"
"Neil...but don't ask me to say what I miss about him, or
I'll end up saying every feature and characteristic of
him! But it's alright. I feel so much better and closer
to them now."  "I want to help you, Christy - whenever
you need something, encouragement, comfort, what ever it
may be; I'm here."  **********************************
 When we went back to the mission house, I remembered that
 I was supposed to be here hours ago for a meeting that
 we were having. Actually, it wasn't a meeting, just a
 gathering to talk about things other than the mission and
 our work here. Everyone, including James Healy and Jesse
 Jenkins were there. Nancy smiled at me, then nodded for
 Pete and I to take our seats that had been reserved.
 I sat right across from Doctor Ferrand, who seemed
 to be acting strange ever since the men got here. He
 seemed...almost flustered.  Clearing her throat to quiet
 the talking of everyone, Nancy started.
"It seems as if we all are getting a bit homesick. I
 thought it would be good if we all talked about this. How
 about we begin with naming the one person, place, and
 thing that we miss the most."  I looked up at Pete with
 a smile. He chuckled and looked at me with caring eyes.
"I'll go first." Came Nancy's voice again. "I think I
miss my mother the most. And I miss my hometown, Atlanta
Georgia. The place? The really big library in the center
of town that I visited almost everyday."  Then it was
Bethany's turn. "I miss my college dorm room and all my
friends and relatives - I miss all of them too much to
pick out one."  Brandon started on his after this. "I
miss my mother the most, but considering that she died, I
suppose that it don't really matter where I am to feel like
that. And I miss New Jersey and my friends there as well."
 Then it was my turn. I held Pete's hand tight and
looked directly into Doctor Ferrand's eyes.  "I miss
my schoolhouse more than any place. There, I could do
anything because I was surrounded by a wonderful feeling
that I got whenever I walked in. It was the best feeling I
ever had. But it don't matter whether I'm here in London,
overseas and far away or when I'm in Asheville and the
mountains are close by - because that schoolhouse is no
longer mine."
 I paused when I heard James Healy whisper to Doctor
 Ferrand. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but
 Doctor Ferrand gave him a quick answer, then stared coldly
 back at me. I continued. "I miss Neil MacNeill more than
 anyone, and I miss my Cutter Gap. But who knows if I shall
 ever see that place again."  This was directed straight
 to the man in front of me, responsible for the reason why
 I might not see it again. And I was letting him know that
 with every chance that I got.
********* *~* Jill *~*


********* With the passing of a few weeks, there were more
 attacks near here. Pete happened to be in town at the time
 of one of them. He went almost everyday - he carried the
 mail to the post office and got whatever we needed from
 the grocery stores and such. Since we hadn't a horse,
 we needed someone who could walk a good distance. It
 was about 15 miles to and from. Pete had long legs and
 could outrun anyone I knew. SO, Doctor Ferrand had no
 choice but to let him go. Pete would head to town, and
 by the time he reached there, it would be night. So,
 he stayed over night, then came back late afternoon
 the next day. Usually, everything went just fine. But
 the last time he went scared me so badly; the attack on
 the town had be sure that Pete was lying somewhere, shot
 and killed. And my worries only grew when he didn't come
 back and days passed. Finally, after 5 very long days,
 he came back, just to tell us that he was going to stay
 at another mission. I tried to hide my disapointment that
 he would be leaving, but he noticed it and vowed that he
 wouldn't leave unless he had my blessing, since it was
 so important to him. And of course I gave it to him - if
 the other mission needed him, then who was I to make him
 stay? I was just upset that the man that I had my trust
 and support in was leaving - my feelings meant nothing
 when it came to the need of patients - the reason why we
 were here. And he promised to be back in a months time.
   But it was only a week when Nancy said that she wanted
 to go to the same mission where Pete was. I understood
 - her and Pete had been practically raised together -
 friends for almost their whole lives since they grew
 up in the same hometown. They went to the same school,
 and Nancy was allowed to go to a co-ed college because
 Pete was. So natuarally, when he told her he was going
 to help in the war, she decided she would too in the
 same second. Now that Pete wasn't here, she felt it was
 her place to go to him - after all, Nancy promised that
 she would never leave him. She contacted Pete, and he
 told her that he would come and get her. But I knew the
 reason why he was going to get her instead of her going
 to him - it was because of me. Before he left, Pete told
 me how much he would like for me to go with him. When I
 didn't say anything, he dropped it, but I knew that he
 wouldn't let it that way. So, I prepared myself in what I
 would say to him, and what my decision would be for sure.
 *******************************
It was late in the afternoon when Pete came. Bethany and
I worked on finishing supper while Nancy packed. He came
bounding up the stairs, said hello to everyone, most in
their chairs at the table, then went straight to me. He
wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek from
standing behind me.  "Mmm, it's good to be home, even if
it's just for a little while. And it's not even because
of the house or settlement." He said softly in my ear,
hinting about me. I looked at him over my shoulder and gave
him a weak smile, then pushed his arms off.  "People are
watching." I scolded in a whisper.  "So let them watch! I
don't mind!"  "But I do."  Pete retreated then, and Nancy
came down from upstairs and to the table, leading Pete
over as well and immediantly striking up a conversation,
cheery as ever. I looked at Bethany, both of us rolling
our eyes. We grabbed two bowls of food - one with soup
and another with salad, then went to the table. Everyone
dug in. I ate little, feeling the pressure of Pete's stare
barring into me. I was so distracted with Pete, I hadn't
realized the intense stare from Kyle. I didn't like Kyle -
he had hated me from the moment that I met him. Something
went wrong - it always was my fault in his eyes. He hated
how the men flocked to me and how the women raved. Said
I was too much of a a€˜goody too shoes' and I was masking
something and was not to be trusted. But I felt that way
about him - there was something in his eyes that I could
never trust. I always felt strange and the hair on the back
of my neck stood up whenever he got close.  If he stood
next to me, a scared feeling would wash over me. I excused
myself as soon as possible, then went into the next room
- the parlor. I went near the corner window, a place that
was impossible to see from the angle of where the table
was. I leaned on the window sill, looking out it sadly as
I thought about....well, so many things! So many were sad
thoughts as well.  "You mad about Pete leaving?" Kyle's
voice was suddenly right next to me. Startled, I gasped
and spun around to see him. How did he come in so quietly?
"Um....I...no. If Pete wants to leave, let him - he's doing
what he thinks is right."  "What do you think?" Kyle's eyes
seemed to bore into my soul.  "I think that he's right,
it's just hard to accept him leaving."  "He's no man at all
if he's willing to leave behind a woman that loves him."
 That strange feeling came over me. A shiver ran down my
 back and the hair on the back of my neck stood up straight
 - a   sign, as my father had said so many times before,
 is God's gift to you to tell you that something is wrong.
 "Kyle..."I whispered. I couldn't hold back my fear of
 him, it showed in my eyes that were widening.
"What's the matter, Christy?" He asked me, walking
closer. I backed up until I hit the walls - I was in the
corner. How stupid of me to walk right into a corner! Kyle
kept getting closer until he finally put his outstretched
arms to each side of me, blocking any escape. Then before
I knew it, his head came down to mine and he was kissing
me. Thinking fast, I tried to pull away, but my head was
already against the walls. So, after trying to push him
away and failing, I lifted my foot high, then dug the heel
of my shoe into his toe as hard as I could. His eyes went
big at first, then he pulled away and started yelling at
me, but never moving away. I tried pushing him, but he
was too big. Then it occurred to me - I had a voice, and
quite a loud one at that. I started screaming for Pete
to come. Kyle put his hand over my mouth, but I bit it
and started yelling again. To my surprise, it was Doctor
Ferrand that was by me first. He immediantly realized what
was happening, and, with the palm of his hand, slammed
Kyle's head against the wall - hard. Kyle's arms were no
longer around me - they were against the wall, but his
eyes held me. I couldn't help my memory flipping back to
when I had seen Margaret at the tea house - when we had
first discovered her. Her eyes wouldn't let me leave, even
though Neil told me to. Now, I felt trapped again. Pete
came and lifted me into his arms and took me out of the
situation. He was headed into the kitchen when Brandon
said that he'd take me, since Pete ought to get going
before the sun set. But Pete refused to give me up. They
started arguing until I cleared my throat loud enough for
them to stop and look at me.  "Pete, I can walk. There's
nothing wrong with my feet."I reminded him. He looked
at me, embarrassed, then set me down on a chair.
"Doctor Ferrand, Healy, Jenkins, Harry, and Brandon, I
want all of you to follow me into the kitchen." Pete said
in a clear, serious voice. They did follow him, and Kyle
was left with a severe warning from Doctor Ferrand. From
that moment, respect grew  in me for the elderly doctor.
 Kyle was hurt pretty badly - he had a gash in the side
 of his head that was gushing out blood. It was really
 messy, so the rest of the nurses took care of him. Pete
 finally had everyone gathered. Before shutting the
 kitchen door, he looked at me.  "You stay right there,
 you hear?" Then, without waiting for a reply, left. But
 of course, curiosity took over, and I couldn't just
 mortally sit here while I was sure they were to talk of
 me in there! So, I crept over to the door and out my ear
 to the crack.
"I hate leaving Christy, but I already know that she wont
 go with me. She gave me enough signs." Pete started
 out. " And yet I know that I have to go to the other
 mission. It really nettles me about what Kyle did, right
 in the room next to all of us! I think it was telling
 me something. He knows that I have strong feelings for
 Christy, and he is trying to hurt me for some reason or
 another, so he is using her. It scares me, it really does.
 If he is willing to do that right in front of us - who
 knows what he'll pull when we aren't there. Christy is
 too hard for you to keep an eye on - trust me, I've tried
 it. But Kyle is always with one of you - keep him within
 eye sight at all times. I don't want him sneaking off
 anywhere so he can pull this again. I'm leaving Christy
 in your care. I trust all of you to help me with this."
 It warmed my heart at first that Pete felt so close to
 me, but then it angered me. Why was everyone always saying
 that I couldn't take care of myself? When I was in Cutter
 Gap, I was never allowed at the mission by myself. If
 Miss Alice and David were gone - Fairlight would have to
 stay with me. True, they got stricter right after I was
 taken hostage, but that happened away from the mission!
 I sighed. Even to my own ears that sounded lame.  And it
 wasnt just Miss Alice and David who thought that I wasn't
 capable of taking care of myself, my mother thought so
 as well. And now, everyone here. I pulled away from the
 door and went to the porch, where I sat on the rough wood
 railing with my arms crossed firmly. It wasn't long until
 Pete and Nancy came out to leave. I looked at him sternly,
 and he knew that I had heard immediantly.  "Nancy, go pack
 up the horse awhile, would you?" He said, then walked over
 to me. I looked away, too upset to look him in the eye.
"I'm only trying to take care of you." He said lightly.
"You cant trust me to take care of myself!"  "Look at
what just happened! You called me for help because you
couldn't help yourself. I'm not going to be here for
a while, so I just told the men to watch out for you -
like passing the buck."  "I could have handled Kyle - I
just didn't want to hurt him. If I didn't mind having a
doctor out of service, I wouldn't have needed you or any
one else." I stopped, knowing how ungrateful that sounded.
"I'm sorry, Pete. I'm just a bit sad that your leaving." I
spoke so softly, I wasn't sure if he'd be able to hear me.
"I have to go, Christy. If you are going to miss me so
much - why not come with?"  "Because I am dedicated to
helping here. I gave them my word and they have not told
me yet that I am needed more somewhere else. Pete, I will
miss you, I'll miss you so much, but I can't go. You'll
have Nancy to help you out, and that should be enough."
"Christy, you got the wrong idea about Nancy and I. We
aren't in a relationship like that."  "I know. But either
are we. Now, the sun is going to set in less than a half
an hour. If you don't hurry, you and that poor girl are
going to be stuck in the dark. Get going." I said, not
wanting to go any farther in the conversation. And if he
had to go, he might as well hurry up and leave before I got
any more attached. He kissed my forehead, gave me a weak
smile, and then hopped on his horse. Nancy rode in front
of him, relaxing into him. They rode of into the east, and
I watched until they disappeared over the hill. Then, they
were gone.  *****************************************

Since Pete was gone, Brandon thought that this would be a
 good time to create a friendship with me, as he told me. I
 had to smile at that as I remembered that he was single
 and has been trying to get to me, but has failed time and
 time again because of Pete. But I had no choice to get
 close to him - he was just always there for me, always
 comforting me when I needed it. I soon became his work
 partner - I worked right along side of him, and worked
 the same shift - 4 to 12, stopping only for breakfast
 and to fill a bucket of water for the two of us. Bethany
 and Marie worked at that time as did Harry. Kyle was
 working with Sarah, Sally, and Lynn on the next shift.
 Brandon slept in the bunkhouse. Since the two elderly
 doctors came, two of the younger doctors had to sleep
 there. Brandon and Pete were the only ones who liked
 it, and used to take turns each night. Now that Pete was
 away, Brandon slept there full time. So, I usually spent
 a lot of time there - a hour or two before work, and
 then between helping Bethany and Marie with cooking, I
 was over there afterwards as well. We talked a lot, and
 I found myself confiding in him. I told him everything
 about Cutter Gap and what had happened. It felt so good to
 get it off of my chest! For so long I had to carry that
 around as a secret, and now I was finally relieved. He
 talked about his dad - how he was never home, and how
 he missed his mother that died when he was 10. He told
 me how he was raised mostly by a nanny that was a next
 door neighbor. Her and her husband were like parents
 to him and Bethany. His nanny moved away then, but by
 that time he was 16 and Bethany was 14. Brandon was old
 enough to start college, and Bethany could manage fine.
 Brandon didn't want to be a doctor. Said that if every
 doctor had to be away from his family so much, that it
 wasn't the job for him. He rather be a good father with
 a hard working job. But, his father wouldn't hear of
 it. I noticed the way Doctor Healy treated his son - as
 if Brandon was still five. My heart went out to him and
 Bethany. No wonder the two siblings were so closely woven
 together!  I found myself comparing Pete and Brandon. At
 first, I thought how they had a lot in common. Now that I
 knew them better, I found myself having to be corrected.
 Pete was manly - he didn't show emotions easily. He was
 sensible, the one who I could run to with advice. I could
 depend on him to know what I should do, but when it came
 to how to deal with my emotions...well, he wasn't as well
 trained. But Brandon was. Brandon was easy going while
 Pete was one to work constantly. Brandon was sweet and
 kind. He was sensitive and his strong arms offered comfort
 constantly. The only thing I wasn't so fond of was that
 Brandon liked to cling to me. Pete hugged me no matter
 where we were, but he didn't hang. But I had to admit
 that I didn't mind all that much that Brandon did that.
But I didn't like one more than the other - I couldn't. If
 I did - I knew that I would lose track of my decision
 for my life - to stay single and keep my promise to the
 cove; to prove that I was different so I could die in
 satisfaction. Somehow, that made sense to me. But if I
 would have more feelings for one of these men, there would
 be no way to resist a proposal from him.  "Brandon, why
 did you come here?" I asked. I had been in his bunkhouse
 for near an hour now - both ready to start our rounds
 soon.  "To help, of course." Was his simple reply.
"Do you really believe that? It's what all of us say to
 eachother - but it seemes like we all are hiding a secret
 from our past. I want to help these patients...but that's
 not the real reason why I'm here. When it comes right
 down to it - I think the only on telling the truth about
 why we're here is Nancy, who says she's here because Pete
 was going and she promised she would never leave him."
 Brandon cleared his throat. I could see that the last
 statement made him uneasy and disturbed - lines of
 annoyance and anger coming to his face. This flustered
 me - why would he be mad about what I said about Nancy?
"Time for work." Brandon said, peeking out the window
and seeing Ally, Casey, Loretta and Debbie leaving
the tent with Doctor Healy. Their shift of  8 PM to
4 AM was done. Brandon grabbed his white medical
coat, medical supplies, strung his stethoscope
around his neck, then headed out the door. I groaned
- somehow I got Brandon mad. I quickly grabbed the
annoying hat that went along with the nurse uniform,
a bucket with 2 dippers, and then ran to catch up.
*****************************************************
 Author's Note : In this chapter, when it deals with
Robert Matthews, what happens is a joke, but you
wont understand it until I start posting my other
story: Lonesome Dove. So, just remember it and then
when I post the other story, you will see why it's a joke.
*************************************************************************************************
"What is your name?" I asked a man in front of me, sitting
up in bed in the recovery tent. I sat on the stool near
the side of the bed as I took the pen out of my pocket and
prepared to write, a clipboard in my hand. The last attack,
happening only a week before, had left it's mark. The
tents were flooded with men with gunshot wounds in all
different areas.  "Robert Matthews." The man with dirty
blond hair and gorgeous blue eyes answered.
 I looked up from my clipboard.  "But you may call me
Rob. I'm 25, and  from the plains of Montana." He added.
"Deja Vu." I said with a smile.  "Huh?" He asked. I
laughed, shaking my head.  "Nothing."  Brandon walked
up behind me and placed his big hand lightly on my right
shoulder. It was the first time that I really had seen him
- he had assigned many jobs to me that kept me away from
him. I looked up at him.  "Do you need a drink?" Assuming
that he did, I got up and grabbed the bucket that was
only a few feet away.  "No, Christy, that's not it."
"Oh...anything wrong?" I put the bucket back down and
walked back to him.  "I want to apologize for running
out on you today."  My brow wrinkled. "Brandon, I'm not
mad at you for that."  "No, but it was rude and shouldn't
go without an explanation. Besides, it's about time you
learned the connection between Nancy, Kyle and Pete."
"I didn't know there was one."  "Exactly. Come on, let's
go fetch that water together. The patients will be fine
for a minute."
 After walking out of the tent, he began.  "The three
of them - Kyle, Pete and Nancy, all went to college
together. Pete was Kyle's roommate, as well as best
friend."  "But they hate eachother now." I said in
confusion. He smiled patiently.  "Seems like that now,
doesn't it? Want to let me finish?"  I nodded, biting
my lip.  "Kyle found out that he had Tuberculousis in their
second year of college. Had it really bad. He went out of
college and went into treatment. Came back a year later
to his own room. Things went pretty good for a while - but
he was to have as little contact as possible with people
for the first month. He ignored that. Right when he came
back, he fell in love with our Nancy. Pete was the only
one who knew about Kyle, and was afraid that Kyle might
infect Nancy with the disease. So, Pete made her fall in
love with him. Kyle hated Pete after that. Pete didn't
date her for long, which made Kyle even more angry. Kyle
has forever since been trying to get Pete back in anyway
he can - which is why you are now involved. He knows Pete
likes you, and thinks if he can take you away from Pete
somehow, that it would be even. Which is why we keep an
eye on him, just in case.
  But Pete never told her why he turned her off from Kyle,
and told no one else, except me by accident. Anyway, anyone
who knows at least part of the story of college, whenever
they think of one of the three, they think of the other two
automatically. I swear they will be linked forever. We are
all a little afraid right now - some of us have heard him
start to cough, even suggested he stay in the bunkhouse,
but he refuses."  "Wait, he might be getting it back?"
"Well, Christy, it never leaves your system. Just...kind
of quiets down. Some of us suspect that it is getting bad
again and inflaming his lungs."  "Can he doctor still?"
"WE might have to put an end to it."  My eyes grew wide.
 "Tuberculousis is contagious - Kyle kissed me. You don't
think..."  "Doubt it, but we'll get you checked." He
said it casually, but I knew now why he brought it up
- he was warning me that I might got it, since resent
research started questioning how people got this
disease. One doctor after another started to believe
that it was contagious - and might be able to be caught
with a cough from the ill person...or a kiss from Kyle.
********************************************* Author's
Note: I have found that even an interesting and enjoyable
story has to have Neil in it - same for this story. Don't
think I left him out. You'll see in the following chapters,
hopefully will be posted by tomorrow or the next day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ((*~*::Jill :: *~*))
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Here is more of Changin. Sorry it took so long - I was
sick for 4 days, and then my dad was on the computer for
a few nights and I couldn't get on. Any way, here it is.

I had just came to this conclusion, with the feelings of
 scared and in shock, when Bethany started calling for
 me. I blushed a deep red, knowing that we had been caught
 by the river instead of at our job. I quickly dipped
 the pail into the stream and shoved it in Brandon's
 hands. That would be our excuse. Then I ran up the hill
 to see what Bethany wanted.  "Good Lord, Christy - the
 skirt of your dress is all muddy! Where were you?"
"By the stream."  "Where's Brandon?" She asked, straining
her neck.  "Carrying the water."
 She looked at me confused, cocking her head slightly. "Why
did the two of you go down there when only one was
needed?" She started to grow suspitious, I knew. Heat rose
in my cheeks.  "Um..I....I hurt my wrist. Brandon offered
to carry it for me. Bethany, why did you call for me?"
"Oh! Oh I'm sorry Christy - there's some one calling for
you on the telephone."  I stared at her intensely, trying
to figure out who it could be. My parents called on the
same date, once a month, and it wasnt time for them. Miss
Alice couldn't call - she just wrote. And David was off
traveling, and told me that he was unable to contact me
by any other way than writing.
 I snapped out of my daze, stopped guessing, then rushed
to the telephone.  "Hello?" I asked unsurely.  "Hello, my
sweet Lass." Came the most beautiful scottish brogue
in the world.  "Neil? Neil! Wait, why are you calling?"
"I always used to call you before bedtime, Lass. Course, I
don't know the time difference there, or your work shift."
" Neil, you stopped that five and a half months ago!"
"No better time to pick up tradition than now, right?"
"Neil, what's going on? You broke my heart and swore that
you'd never speak to me again if I went here. And from
then up to now you kept it."  "Oh Christy, you didn't
think I'd actually stick to that, do you? I could never
stop talking to you. That was just the anger and moonshine
talking. I can't stay away from you."  "Neil, this doesn't
sound like you at all."  "Things changed me. Speaking of
which, how's your task of staying the same?"  "It's fine
- I don't think I've changed. I've been thrown into
different circumstances, faced some things that weren't
always pretty, but I don't think my character changed."
"Christy...I don't want to hurt your goals, but life
changes people, no matter what. You now have experience
in an area that you didnt before, and probably have
become more aware of things that you didn't before."
"But the main part of me didn't. Neil, I promised the
cove-" "I know, I know. Well, new topic. How is life over
there? Who's all there?"  "Since you said that with a
chuckle, you probably know that Doctor Ferrand is here,
and is the head."
 Neil laughed again.  "That I do. As soon as Miss Alice,
Grantland, and even your father found out, they all told
me right away. I felt completely sorry, and I must say
that even though it is a good joke and quite humorous,
I hate that I have to trust you to him."  "Don't worry
about me, Neil. I'm doing just fine."  I could almost
see Neil tensing up, then, changing the subject before
the words  had assured me of it.  "Who else is there?"
"You know your favorite doctor from New York? That Doctor
Kinnigan? His son is here. And James Healy, along with
his son and daughter are here as well - they are my best
friends and source of comfort."
 "That's amazing that you got in with them - a pure stroke
of luck."  "Or a sign from God that I was meant to be
here." I said in a sweet tone.  Neil laughed. "Ah, don't
go too far with me, Christy."  "I didn't think that would
work."  "Well, give me some names of other doctors there
- maybe I'll recognize them too."  "Well there's Jesse
Jenkins."  "Aw, Christy - you got stuck with him? He's
an ogre, even if he does hide a lot."  "So you know
him too? You're right, he does like to hide - in Doctor
Ferrand's office all day."  "Serves Ferrand right. Who
else?"  "Harry Tubbor."  "Um...don't recognize him."
"How about Kyle Hughs?"  "Did he go to medical college with
Kinnigan's lad?"  "Yes, he did."  "Ah, yes I know him. If
I remember, he was a sickly thing. His father dragged him
to every conference to make him learn more about diseases
and things. Then a few years later the poor boy found out
he had tuberculosis."  I gasped. "You know about that?"
"Of course I do."  "But only Pete and Brandon are supposed
to know."  "Come now, Christy. There are great benefits to
knowing his father and having him as a professor. I found
out easily, even though I had graduated by that time. I
want you to stay away from him, you hear? Doctor's aren't
sure of how it is spread. It might be from coughing or
from their blood...anything. Have you heard him cough like
Margaret had?"  "No, never. But he had it so long ago,
wouldn't he be okay now?"  "It never goes away Lass, just
calms down for a while. Have you ever touched his blood?"
"Um...well yes. Kyle gets hurt sometimes, and in the
past I have cleaned his wounds about....3 or 4 times."
"I'm warning you, stay away."  "Well, it don't matter much
anymore - the men keep him away after what he tried to-" I
stopped, not wanting Neil to know what Kyle did. But Neil
already knew something was afoot, and wanted to know the
details. They finally came out, and I told him the story
of what happened right before Pete left.
 After my story was finished, I waited for Neil to reply,
but there was nothing. Complete silence filled the next
moment as the details of what happened sunk into his mind.
"I could kill him." I heard Neil finally mutter.
 "He was taken care of. Doctor Ferrand gashed open his
head by slamming it to the wall, and he has been an
outsider for a long time now."  "That's it? That was all
that was done? They didn't think on letting Kinnigan stay
with you at the mission and letting Kyle go in his place?"
"Pete wouldn't have stayed."  "So let Kyle go with! If any
of those people truely cared, that's what they would have
done!" Neil's voice was full of anger. He was shouting
in disbelief.  "Neil, calm down. I'm fine. That's all
that matters."  "That's all that matters until Kyle tries
again! At Cutter Gap I could at least take care of you. Now
you are in the hands of Ferrand himself, but I can't do
anything... I can't do anything." He said the last sentence
in more of a sad whisper or moan. Not only was he upset
and furious, he was scared. And he was willing to show
it. That amazed me. But the amazement didn't last long.
"Christy, maybe you should-" "No Neil - I'm staying
here!" I interrupted forcefully, knowing full well of what
he was to say.  "I'm worried about you, Lass."  "I know
Neil, and thank you for your concern, but I'm doing just
fine, I really am. The Kyle mishap is just one thing bad
that happened."  "But as a result of that, he could have
passed it. I'm going to look into tuberculosis more. I'll
put my research of trachoma aside and research this for
a while - it's what I should have done a long time ago."
 There was nothing more to say - Neil had made up his
mind, and I was well aware that I couldn't do a thing to
change it.  *******************************
 I rejoiced when I seen on my calendar that one month was
up - Pete and Nancy were to be coming back any day. I
couldn't wait. Bethany and I became quite good cooks -
after a week, the missionaries could even eat foods that
weren't in the color black from negligence and ignorance
in the kitchen! But Nancy was the true cook, and Pete was
the true head of the young doctors. I started to suspect
that even Brandon might have missed him.  I smiled. No,
Brandon had loved Pete being away. He had tried to get
me to fall in love with him so many times with so many
ways. I had to admit, it was flattering. Still, I wished
he wouldn't. Pete either. I had told them both that I was
never to be married. They said that they respected it,
but it sure didn't look like they believed it!
 "Christy, Christy come here! I think that's Pete, but I
 can't quite make it out. You have better eyesight - is
 it Nancy and Pete?" I heard Sarah yell from the porch. I
 ran out to her to see her arms wrapped around the pole,
 leaning over the railing on her toes so far she was in
 danger of falling.  I laughed at the sight, then went to
 her side. Putting my hand above my eyes to sheild them
 from light, I squinted to see figures that were about 100
 yards away with the sun blazing down; reflecting off of
 lakes and puddles, making it impossible to see much of
 anything. But another look assured me, and I was soon
 gaily running of the porch, my heels flying up mud in
 their wake, as I rushed to greet them. I was going so
 fast by the time I reached them, that I couldn't slow
 down and plowed right into Pete's arms. He couldn't
 help but chuckle as he looked down at me, full of mud.
 "I'll take that as you missed us." He said with his
 eyes twinkling. A big grin spread over my face as I
 straightened up and hugged him tighter.
"So much...so very much." I whispered, then let go of him
 and hugged Nancy. Her musical laughter filled the air
 - it was great to have my friends back!  AS we walked
 back, my arm linked with Pete's as Nancy did the same
 on the other side, I told them how I heard from Neil
 only the week before, omitting certain details. But I
 couldn't talk long, for as soon as we had reached the
 mission, they were bombarded with the rest of the nurses
 and doctors welcoming their a€˜lost sheep'.
******* The excitement died down by the next day, and
 things were soon back to normal. Pete and I took long
 walks as we talked about home. I had been homesick
 lately, and as it turned out, he had to. So, we told
 eachother stories and helped one another cope. It felt
 great to have my main support back, even if Brandon
 was a great substitute.  Nancy blended in well again
 too. Bethany and Sarah were always surrounding her, as
 the strawberry blonde 27 year old held spotlight with
 her many stories about the different handsome doctors in
 the other camp. All I could do was roll my eyes and stay
 away - I didn't need to get involved with any more young
 doctors, I already had to many!
***************** Brandon and I came in late one night
 to see that all the nurses and young doctors were
 in the parlor, seated on the floor in a unshapely
 circle. Slipping in quietly, we listened to their
 conversation.
"So you believe it? The though of women in the war alone
is beyond me. But not just women but..." I heard Kyle
say in shock.  "I know! It's amazing. Let's just hope
they don't get caught - they'd be killed." Lynn cemented.
"Maybe the deserve it. They have no right sneaking into
the army."  "It's noble of them though. They want to change
their life around."
 I seen Pete shrug. "Noble or terrible, I don't know. But
 it's late, and I'm heading to bed. Best everyone else
 do the same."  They all took his advice and broke up. I
 quickly grabbed the arms of a few girls.
"What were you all talking about? Who is going into
the war?"  "You won't believe it!" Marie said seriously.
"What?"  "Prostitutes." Sarah volunteered.  "What!" I
exclaimed.  "They say that they want to change their
lives around. They want to do something before they die
of the various diseases that they have."  "What about
their children?"
 "They hide them. The news is is that many of these women
are being founded out, and are being killed for it. And
the thing is, it's usually not even the commanders that
do it as much as their fellow troops."  "What about the
children?"  "They are usually killed as well."  My mouth
fell.  "They are?" I asked, shattered and heartbroken at
the thought.  Bethany nodded sadly. "There's no where to
hide. When found out, many are killed."  *******
 The next day I decided to do something about that. I spent
my day off going to a tea house in town. It was many miles
away, but I had to do something about this. I stepped
in, but found no one. It was Saturday - shouldn't it be
brimming with business? I found one woman in the back.
"Sorry, we're closed." She said, hearing my footsteps
but not bothering to turn. I noticed that she was packing
clothing into a trunk.  "I'm not hear for tea, Miss." I
said. At the sound of my feminine voice, she gasped and
spun around.
 "What is a woman doing here?" She asked in alarm.
"Wanting to know what happened to this tea house."
"Haven't you heard? All of us are going into the army
now. Including me."  Just then I heard a baby cry. I
turned my head to the other side of the room to see a
toddler in large cradle.  "Are you bringing your baby?"
What choice do I have?"  Thinking fast, I came up with
a plan.  "I come from a mission. I could, personally, take
him. He'd be absolutely safe, and I could adopt him for
you. That way, you could go into the army and not have to
worry about the safety of your child."
 She looked over at her baby.  "It's so hard - making
decisions for him. I can't stay here - I have no money,
no food. He has no future and I am disgracing him." She
looked up at me with watering clear blue eyes. She
looked so fragile - not her body, but her spirit.
"I can only begin to understand, to speak the truth." I
said lightly. She nodded.  "Well look, it's late, and I
have to get back to the mission. But I want you to think
about my proposal. If you decide you want me to take him,
go to the mission at this address." I said, handing her
a piece of paper.  "But if I would be in uniform. How
would you recognize me?"  I thought for a moment, digging
into my pocket. I pulled out a felt red star. This was
from my quilt that I was making. I handed it to her.
"Wear this in someplace visible." I said. She nodded,
promised to think it over and pass the word. Then I
left, going home quickly so I wouldn't raise suspicion.
***************************************************************
 And when I said earlier that Neil was coming up,
I didn't mean the phone call. I meant something
else, but I remembered that there were these parts
before it. Dont worry, he's still in the story!! :)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ((*~*::Jill :: *~*))
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Two weeks later, I could feel a lot of tension between
 Brandon and Pete; more then normally. I knew they had
 talked a lot at night - but what was causing them to
 ague so much now?  I had little time to think. There
 were 20 patients here now, and most had come down with
 severe cases of influenza. Five of the eight doctors
 were sick - all of the young ones, and then crabby old
 Doctor Jenkins. Fourteen out of sixteen nurses were
 ill as well. With most of them out, it became harder
 for everyone. I was sick, but refused to show it. Since
 we wore masks over our noses and mouths, and I washed
 my hands almost every five minutes, I was clear in not
 being able to carry more germs then were already gaining
 on me from my surroundings. I felt terrible, but I knew
 I couldn't take to be. Marie and I were the only ones
 left. Pete, Brandon, and Kyle were out as well. Brandon
 stayed in until it seemed he was starting to act really
 strange from the illness. He and Pete were to stay in
 the bunkhouse together. I could only pray that they were
 too sick to kill eachother over all the aguements I still
 heard coming from their open window.  No one knew that I
 was sick - any signs I kept hidden. I couldn't be spared,
 I had been told that countless times. So what was the use
 of complaining? I just had to tough this illness out and
 not let it get the best of me. But deep down, and during
 all the dizzy spells I kept getting and the long nights
 that I was so sick it was impossible to sleep, I knew
 that sheer willpower and prayer was not going to keep me
 fueled for long.
**************** One night, I crashed into bed. However I
 landed on it was the way I was staying - the world could
 whirl around me as much as it wanted, as long as I could
 stay put. It had been a long day, and one of the worse
 ones yet. Each day was worse then the one before it,
 because I could feel myself falling more and more ill,
 whether I was ready to accept it or not.  It seemed like I
 had just shut my eyes when I heard yelling. I ignored it
 for a moment, my eyes just half open, until I could hear
 flesh colliding with what soulnded like a fist. Sitting
 straight up it bed, I looked out the window to see Brandon
 and Pete shouting at eachother for something I couldn't
 manage to understand, and staggering to fist fight
 eachother over their heated discussion. I ran down the
 steps, barefoot and with nothing more than a nightgown
 on, though it was well into October.  "Pete, Brandon,
 stop!" I screamed as I ran towards them, my feet sinking
 into the cold icy mud. Pete looked at me, but paid dearly
 for it with a punch landing right above his left ear. I
 was soon standing right next to them, begging for them
 to stop though they ignored me. Finally I could handle
 it no longer - my two best friends killing each other,
 probably over a topic I knew much about - me. I tried to
 get between them to coax them into stopping when I felt
 a powerful blow to my right eye. I stumbled back, the
 dizziness ailing me all the way here from the sickness
 taking full affect. The men retreated from the fighting
 and were now coming towards me, their faces full of
 worry. But I seen little more then blackness until I fell
 the ground, and became unconscious to the world around me.
******************************************************
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Christy, it was an accident,
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." I heard the soft murmering
repeat these words over and over, just strong enough to
jab into my black world. Then I felt the weight of a large
hand laying gently against my forehead.  My eyes fluttered
open, but I was soon in a state of confusion; I could see
nothing but wood planks in front of me. It took a few
moments to realize just what I was staring so intensly
at - the wall! But the hand...where was the person that
had their hand on me? It soon dawned on me, and I slowly
turned my head and shifted my body until my eyes met the
warm gaze of Pete. A look of relief washed over him.
 "Pete?" I asked, not sure of what was going on with
everything so fuzzy to me.  "Christy, I have never
been so glad to see a pair of beautiful big blue eyes
in my life!" He exclaimed in a whisper, emotion built
to high to speak any higher. He removed his hand shyly.
I just stared at him, complexed.  "I'm so sorry." He then
whispered. Then I remembered - remembered the night of the
fighting. I smiled sweetly at the worried man at my side.
"Pete, I forgive you for that!"  "But I can't tell you
how sorry I am-" "Please! You must have repeated the
same sentences for the last half hour! Your apologizes
penetrated into my dreams. You have no need to feel sorry."
 No words were said after that, for we watched
for the person coming up the steps; hearing their
footsteps. The head of Doctor Ferrand soon peered over
the low three foot wall while he was only three fourths
the way up. Reassurance for my health soon appeared in
his eyes.  "Pete, Miss Huddleston has not eaten in the
last hour. Would you go down stairs and fetch her some
soup?" The elderly doctor asked his mentoree. Pete nodded
reluctantly, and Doctor Ferrand soon took his place beside
me. When I heard the footsteps of Pete going into the
kitchen, I opened up.  "What happened to me, Doctor?" I
asked, but my question went ignored.  "How could you,
Christy? Not tell us that you were sick?"  "I was needed
else where. What is wrong with me?"  "What's wrong? You
have influenza, but you already know that and have known
it for way too long. Why did you keep up with your work
when you were aware of your illness? You should have taken
to bed like the others!"  "I was needed to work - not
to lie around. You worked, Jesse Jenkins worked, Harry
worked - you all were sick!"  "But we took special care
of ourselves, we took rests in between our schedules and
ate certain foods. We had medicine in us! You didn't!"
"But I was no threat to our patients."  "Forget about
the patients - you nearly died! When Pete hit you, you
didn't pass out because of the blow, but because you had
a very high temperature. How you made it outside without
collapsing is beyond me. You know that influenza can be
very serious. And yet you ignored all our heeded advice to
everyone and did what you pleased. Do you realize that you
have been unconcious for days? You nearly died!" He scolded
severely.  "You know, for being a doctor and a reverand,
you bedside manner is really poor." I attempted to joke,
but this was obviously no laughing matter.  "Can you take
nothing serious, Christy? I just told you that we almost
lost you, and you are worried about my bedside manner?" He
was shouting now.  "Not worried Doctor, just commenting."
 Thank goodness that Pete returned then, because I wasn't
 quite sure what Doctor Ferrand was going to say to be
 for that.  He fed me the bowl of soup in silence. When
 finished, he retreated without another word.  I found out
 later that Miss Alice had heard about my being ill, and
 was so worried, she said she was going to get on the next
 boat to London to care for me herself. Thankfully, Doctor
 Ferrand talked her out of it, saying it was too dangerous
 and that I was in good hands. Though grateful that she
 would be out of harm, the thought of Miss Alice warmed my
 whole body and made my eyes misty with thoughts of her.
 ************************************************** I
 was always so dizzy. I felt terrible all the time. For
 once, work looked so inviting! I longed to be healthy
 again! All of the other nurses, and of course Pete, were
 all better. Brandon and I were the only remaining sick, I
 the worst case of them all.  It seemed that the last day
 of my a€˜confinement' of this small wretched room took a
 year instead of two weeks. Doctor Ferrand assured me that
 if I regained back the strength, and everything went as
 planned, I could be up and running by tomorrow. But I felt
 so down today. I was miserable, and still so dizzy. I was
 bored out of my mind as well- there was no one about to
 help me, and my only true companion of the last two weeks
 was not able to console me. My books, my love, were not
 able to be read. One, there was no light - there were
 no candles to be spared on me. I looked out the window
 and to my amazement, it was a completely cloudless sky -
 much different from every other snowy night. It was late
 - about 10 o'clock in the evening. All the nurses slept
 in the men's room, while the elderly doctors slept in the
 bunkhouse on cots and beds and the younger ones slept
 on the parlor davenport and floor.  I didn't know many
 constellations by memory, but I did know the simplest one
 - Ryan's belt. I nearly jumped out of bed with joy when
 I found it. The stars were so bright! The saying that
 stars looked like diamonds had never rung truer. This
 night sky reminded me of the many nights back in Cutter
 Gap, where a clear sky was common. It cheered me up, gave
 me something to smile about; something that I could think
 about. I could remember special memories of Cutter Gap as
 I gazed out of my window. I did this until I fell asleep.
************************************** The next morning
came beautifully. The sun was shining bright when I
awoke. I heard the sizziling of bacon in the kitchen,
and utenzils being passed around the room by the many
cooks as pots clanged together. Today would indeed be a
wonderful day.
 Bethany was the one to serve me my last breakfast in
bed. She looked excited as she handed it to me. I could
soon guess that this excitement was far from just having
be around again. Something was going on.  "What is it,
Bethany?" I asked her. She was ready to burst with the
wide smile that she had.
 "Your Neil MacNeill called this morning."  "He did?" I
 exclaimed. "What happened? What did he say? Who talked to
 him? Talk girl!"  She laughed. "Sarah talked to him. He
 wanted to know how you were. Was very disappointed in
 not being able to talk to you."
"Does he know about me being ill?"  "Oh yes - he knew
about that for weeks."  "Wait, this isn't the first time
he called?"  "Good Lord, no! He called about five times
now. It's just...he sounded so charming now!"
 I smiled. "That man never stops being charming."
"Well, the other thing is that there might be more doctors
coming. And they are to be young, too!"  "Really? Why?"
"The other mission is to feeble to stay alive. They might
close if they can't get more help. If they close, the
workers will be distributed to the surrounding missions
- and we are supposed to get four or five of them!"
************************************************

Here is the good parts now. Well, soon now.


It had been a week since I was allowed to get up from
 bed. I was bursting with energy. Many times I'd just
 jump around if any little thing excited me. Today was
 cleaning day for me. Bethany, Sarah, Sally, and Lynn. It
 was Bethany and I that were assigned the downstairs. Every
 window in the large dusty house was wide open, despite
 the coldness. We were all hot from the work, and it
 was an unusually warm day. We had been having them a
 lot lately to where it feels like late spring again. I
 swept the floor, smiling from the rhythm I was making by
 humming as I swayed in dance lightly, watching my skirt
 swish from side to side. For a few minutes, I wasn't in
 the middle of a war in London - I was back in Asheville
 in the middle of a dance floor at a big dance party,
 dressed in the finest. Shame that my dance partner had
 to be so skinny though! A broom was hardly a substitute
 to such a great waltz dancer as Neil.  Suddenly, I heard
 the faint sound of galloping. My head flew up, snapping
 out of my daydream. My mouth fell in complete shock. The
 broom startled me as it landed sharply on the floor. I
 rushed to the doorway for a better view, then shook
 my head. That couldn't be who I thought it was! But
 it was. Neil was on top of a gallant horse that looked
 like it was overworked. I gasped, then started running
 towards him. I screamed out his name as I neared. He was
 dismounted and his horse tethered by the time I reached
 him. He greeted me with big open arms and a light chuckle.
"Neil! Neil, I can't believe it's you!"  "Tis, Lass." He
said with added charm, sweeping me into his arms as
if I were weightless.  "But why are you here? It's so
dangerous to be crossing the ocean right now."  "If a
wee lass could do it a few months ago, then why not her
mighty Doctor?" He asked jovially.  "Hers?" I teased.
"Would be if you let me."  "I rather stay away from that
topic and just greet you."  "Sure fine with me, Lass. I
haven't seen you in years! The sight of you - I just
can't soak enough of it up!"  "Good! Then stay awhile."
"That I plan to! At least for a little while."
 "That's great!" He bent down and kissed
me, then headed towards the mission.
*****************************************************************
 Neil was greeted almost too warmly by the nurses. They
 all loved him! The doctors, on the other hand, were
 a different issue all together. Each had a different
 opinion.  Since Doctor Ferrand and I were coming close
 from all the advents that had happened to us, he welcomed
 Neil as warmly as he could. Harry was genuinely happy
 to have such an experienced doctor aboard, and told Neil
 how much it pleasures him that he would have the chance
 to learn from the great doctor of Cutter Gap.
  Jesse Jenkins said that Neil was just another mouth
 to feed on our little allowences of the mission, then
 retreated to his hole.  Kyle, Pete, and Brandon never,
 ever agreed on anything - until Neil came. They all wanted
 him out and treated him stiffly.  But Neil didn't care
 about their cold reactions. He was here for me - and that
 was all that was important.
********************* That same night Neil and I went
 for a walk after he told me that he needed to talk
 privately. After we made our way to the lake, Neil
 jumped in.
"Did you get tested yet?"  "For tuberculosis?"  "Yeah -
did you?'  "No. One, I don't know who to go to, or how
to do it secretly." I said, plopping onto the ground by
the bank.  "It's important for you to get tested, no matter
what. I'll find you a place."
 I looked into Neil's eyes as I bit my lip, wondering
if I'd be out of line to ask the question that my mind,
as well as my heart, as been begging me to.  "Neil..." I
whispered.  "Yes?"  "I heard...I heard that Margaret died
a little while before I came here, but there wasnt any
details. I was wondering....how'd she die?"  Neil looked
apon me very seriously.  "Tuberculosis overcame her,
Christy. I lost her to the same disease that is threatening
Kyle and perhaps you. That's why I'm...I'm scared for
you. You know that I could never bare the death of you -
don't you? I just...I couldn't live."  Tears overflowed
my eyes at his sincere words.  "I promise you I'll get
tested as soon as possible, Neil." I said, choked up.
************************************************************


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ((*~*::Jill :: *~*))
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day I was off of work, so I took Neil for a tour
 of the lovely scenery. We even went into town and did
 some shopping for the mission. It